Water Walking with Jesus

GOD WITH US

2011-08-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the only way we know God is with us is when we find ourselves walking in the shoes of those who’ve gone before us.
When my daughter announced she and the kids were moving to New York to be with her estranged husband, I was devastated. The harder I tried to dissuade her, the more determine she was to go. So with tears in my eyes, I kissed my grandchildren good-bye, and made my daughter promise me that if things didn’t turn out right, she’d call me, and her uncle and I would come and get them.
I spent this past week vacationing with my daughter and grandchildren. While there, I got up early one morning and went outdoors to pray. As I sat in the backyard surrounded by towering trees, the melodious sounds of blue jays and cardinals, and a lone squirrel jumping from one tree to another; I was reminded of a time long ago when my children were young, I had packed up and moved to Louisiana to be with my husband. My mother had tried to dissuade me, but I too had been determined to go. My brother had made me promise that if things didn’t go right, call him, and he’d come and get us.
Just as God was with me and my children, I began to see Him with my daughter and her children. Two days after arriving in New York, she found a place to live. The schools my grandchildren attend far exceed the educational opportunities they had in Chicago; and they are being exposed to different cultures and peoples living together in community. My daughter is learning to trust God for herself, and to lean on Him in crisis instead of leaning on me.
The Bible speaks of a son, Isaac, who walked in his father’s (Abraham) footsteps and discovered that the same God who was with his father, is now with him. He had traveled to the same place, propagated the same lie, experienced God’s forgiveness, friendship, divine protection, guidance, and material blessings (Genesis 20:1-17; 26:1-11).
Whose shoes have you found yourself walking in? Could it be that God is reaching out to you, to initiate friendship with you?

Wheeeeeeeeeeee! 2011 Blizzard

2011-02-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

Don’t you just love the snow? I haven’t had this much pleasure since the Blizzard of 1967. I was 12 years old back then. The snow drifts had reached the second floor of our home. My brothers were thrilled to be able to climb out of their bedroom window and walk down the biggest snow mountain they’d ever seen. One of my older brothers shoveled his way out of the front door making his version of what he called an igloo. School was closed, no homework---- pure bliss.

Although I’m older this time around (much older), I’m enjoying the snow storm of 2011. I’ve even personalized this wonderful fluffy white snow as a gift from God just for me!

My days are so filled with work, followed by ministry responsibilities, and weekend extended family care; that my needs, and "Sabbath" time in the presence of the Lord are often neglected.

This blizzard has allowed me to catch my breath-----to slow down and reflect on God’s grace and His love for me. I have enjoyed unhurried time in prayer and study of His Word throughout the day. I’ve been able to catch up on writing assignments; and even partake in some creative art activities.

Hopefully the roads and the parking lot of my apartment complex will be cleared soon and I can get to work tomorrow. But if I can’t, I’ll continue to enjoy God’s gracious gift to me.

A CHRISTMAS WISH

2010-12-25T09:41:00.000-08:00

If I could have one wish for Christmas it would be that God would send me a special, unique friend, different from the friends and acquaintances I already have.
This friend would be one who valued being single as a gift from God, one who isn’t called to be married; one who has a passionate desire to know Christ in every area of his life; a person who loves studying and sharing God’s Word. This special friend wouldn’t be offended by my quirky character, or become fearful of my challenging questions and ponderings about God and His involvement with humanity and His church; a friend that I could share a meal with; a godly companion that I could share my walk with Christ with and he would share his walk with Christ with me.

I had a friend once, which was very much like the friend described above, except he was married and older than I. I was about 15 when I met him and his wife, Deacon James and Lucinda Scates. They were members of the church my family attended. They gave me my first job working in their laundry, and after work we’d have dinner together.
A former alcoholic, I never tired of hearing Deacon Scates’s testimony, of meeting Jesus "on a street called Straight,” he would say. And from that point on, he remained in hot pursuit to know Christ more. We would talk for what seemed like hours about Jesus, God, the scriptures---his faith and walk with the Lord, and my young faith and understanding of the Lord.
When I became a young adult, he would have me lead his Sunday School Class. Here I was, a young woman, in my late 20s, discussing the scriptures with aged Christian men and women who were well versed in the Word of God with life experience to back it up. In recalling those days, I can see a glimpse of Jesus as a boy speaking with the doctors and teachers of the law in the temple.

The last time I saw Deacon Scates was 17 or more years ago. He was in the hospital and sent word through my mother to come see him. His wife was going through the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s disease; I imagine he felt somewhat alone.
He wanted to tell me that God was with me, and even as a youth, he had witness the Holy Spirit in my life. He warned me about false teachers who would try to confuse me and turn me aside from the truth I had learned and knew about Christ. He then placed my hand on his stomach and asked me to pray for him. After I had prayed, he said he felt the Holy Spirit leap in his belly, and he knew everything would be all right. He was soon released from the hospital----I never saw him again. In every church I’ve served in since, I’ve never had a friendship like what I had with Deacon Scates.

For several weeks, I’ve been feeling homesick and lonely; couldn’t understand what was wrong till a few days ago. I miss having a special, unique friend in my life.

“God send me a special friend who values being single (as I do) as a gift from You, who is looking for someone like me that together we can share our passionate pursuit to know You more, and share our faith walk with You, with one another and others.” Amen.

December 14

2010-12-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today (December 14, 2010) made 1 year at my current place of employment. On December 13, 2007, I became unemployed. And on December 14, 2009 I became employed with a salary and benefits that exceeded my former job.

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T'MIYAH!

2010-10-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

Today, October 22, 2010 is my eldest granddaughter's birthday. Sixteen years ago, a week after her birth, I was diagnose with breast cancer.
Each year on her birthday we share two celebrations: (1)her birth; and (2)my extended life. This year on her 16Th birthday, I celebrate 16 years cancer free.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR ME!

David Brian Miller 1965-2010

2010-10-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

Friday, October 15 (2 days before his 45Th birthday) my brother, David, died. He was brother number 6 of 7; and sibling number 9 of eleven. He is the first of my siblings to pass away.
David was more than just a brother to me, he was also my surrogate baby. When he (and the 2 siblings after him) was born, our mother worked nights, so his crib was set up in my bedroom. From early afternoon to breakfast I cared for him as well as my other siblings. For awhile, David thought I was his mother. He seemed to cling to me more than the others in that he never wanted me out of his sight.

David recovered from an extensive surgery on Tuesday, and appeared to be doing fine. I was at work when I received the call that David had died, I was stunned. In unbelief I threw myself into my work, working non-stop till it was time to punch out.
On my way home I stopped at the church, ran into the sanctuary, and kneeled before the presence of the Lord and began to worship Him in prayer, praise and song.

The stress of David's death intensified as the family struggled with planning his funeral which changed several times before it was finally settled to be held tomorrow.

Wednesday evening, I turned off my phone, made a pot of herbal tea, lit some candles, wrapped myself in a soft blanket, reclined in my chair and meditated on the goodness of God to my family. It was during this time that I came to grips with my brother's passing, and found relief from feuding siblings over our brother's remains.
David's body is an empty shell----he's gone into the presence of the Lord.
The medical staff said when he transpired, there was no trembling, jerking, or struggle; just a peaceful exhale, and he was gone. Before his demise, he made amends with God and his girlfriend; he saw his baby, and he left me a message that he loved me.

For me, Wednesday evening was the funeral for my brother, held in the privacy of my apartment between me and the Lord. I take comfort in knowing that I will see my baby brother again.

BIRTHDAY BLESSINGS

2010-04-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Today I celebrated my 55th Birthday by taking in every moment with a grateful heart to God for all of His goodness to me. I still marvel at His grace and tender mercies----His discipline of me, and His eternal love for me.

I've received so many well wishes and blessings from family and friends, even co-workers. I am truly, truly a blessed woman.

Thank You Lord for another year!

Perfect Love

2010-02-14T21:46:00.001-08:00

Last night (the night before Valentine's Day) I notice several "last minute" men scurrying through the leftovers at Walgreens trying to find gifts for their significant other. I chuckled to myself as two of the men debated between themselves which of the two had found the better gift for his sweetheart.

As I walked out of the store I thought about the Savior, my Savior. He didn't wait till the last minute to show me how much He loved me. His gift of love was a well thought out plan that He and the Father put together long before the earth was formed (Eph. 1:4-5)! He looked down through time and chose me to be a recipient of His amazing love and grace.

In my life time I've met men who could talk a good game of love but couldn't demonstrate what true love looks like. Jesus demonstrated His Love for me in that before I came to faith in Him, He died for me (Rom. 5:8).

The awesome thing about being the Savior's Valentine is, His love for me is perpetual. I've been married and divorced twice, yet Jesus has never left my side since I accepted His gift of love at age 13.

Even now He is preparing a place for me within His Father's mansions, that where He is I will be also.

John 15:13; Romans 5:7-8; I John 3:1-2;

AIN'T GOD AWESOME?!

2010-02-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

December 13, 2007 I became unemployed. December 14, 2009 I began a new job. It's amazing to me how God works in our lives. He is so precise in all that He does.

In the two years that I was out of work, struggling with on and off unemployment benefits----God took care of me. He secured my apartment and utilities, provided food for me to eat, clothes to wear, and maintenance of my car with gas to keep it running.

My life has been filled with numerous crisis. But in each one, God has spoken "peace be still" to my heart and has taken me by the hand, and walked with me on the storm tossed waters of life, bringing me safely through.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR THE THINGS HE HAS DONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-12-31T16:19:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve has, for the past 5 years, been the loneliest day of the year for me. Not so much because I'm divorced and live alone-----but because there was no one to share my life in Christ with in celebration of overcoming the obstacles of the old year and going into the new year with a fresh start.

All of my life, from childhood to adult, my family spent New Year's Eve in church where God's people gave testimonies of victories in their lives, illumination of God's Word that led them into His presence, stories of personal growth, friends and family members who were won to the Lord, etc., etc. We would then get on our knees, around 11:30, praying and worshiping God for bringing us through another year, with anticipation of His continued love and guidance in the New Year. Shortly after midnight we would gather in fellowship hall where we would continue our celebration with food and well wishes to one another in the New Year.

Not many churches today have "Watch Service"----so I've been spending the evening alone, on my knees in prayers and songs of thanksgiving and hope as time closed out the old year and ushered in the new. At midnight I would partake in the Lord's Supper in remembrance of my union with the Savior.

This year, my church combined its Candle Light Christmas Eve Service with one of our neighboring churches. What a blessing! God truly left His throne and visited His children on that evening.

Tonight, our neighbor church is having New Year's Eve (Watch Night) Service and I look forward to attending with great expectation that God will again minister to His children, re-igniting our hearts with passion to press on toward intimacy in Him.

LORD, Send A Revival!

2009-09-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning feeling very discouraged. This week began with a fight to withstand the demons of apathy, indifference, and hopelessness that’s plaguing the faith community I belong to. The atmosphere among the staff and leaders is so depressing that I fear for my own spiritual health.

It’s obvious, at least to me, what the problem is. My church has left its first love. There is no intimacy between individual members and Christ, which means there is no spiritual intimacy among members toward one another. We go through the motion of Sunday programming without heart or passion. We go home and busy ourselves with jobs or unemployment rituals, pay TV, entertainment vices, food, criticizing and blaming the government for the mess our country is in; and at the end of the day give 7minutes (if that much) of unconscious prayer to a distant Heavenly Father in the name of His distant Son, Jesus, and go to bed, and repeat the same scenario the next day and thereafter.

I can hear Jesus calling out to His people to rekindle their love for Him and His Word. I hear Him knocking at the door of hearts who claim they are His.

"Here I am, open the door and I will come in and commune with you. I want to renew our relationship. Remember when you first met Me, when you first accepted Me as your Savior? You were so grateful for salvation, you devoted yourself to talking with Me in prayer daily---you loved to study My Word and apply it to your life. You willing showed love and forgiveness to others. You actually cared about My other children and did what you could to help them and show them My love. And you weren’t ashamed to share your faith in Me with family and friends. You were passionate in your worship of Me and My Father. My light shone brightly within you.

But now you’ve forgotten the old days. Your heart is no longer in your Worship of Me and My Father. You come to church with a desire to hurry up and go home. You no longer spend time getting to know Me through personal and corporate prayer. The only time I hear from you is when you’re in trouble and everyone you trusted above Me has turned their back on you. Come, open the door and let me in. I will forgive you and hold you in My arms. Come, let me in."
　
Most Gracious Father,
Thank you for undeserved mercy to me and your people. Please, Lord God Almighty, send a revival to your children. We need You Lord, I need You Lord-----we can do nothing without You.
Please, don’t let our light go out (Revelation 2:4-5).
In Jesus’ name,
Anna

MEMORIAL DAY BLESSINGS

2009-05-25T11:09:00.000-07:00

As I join our nation in pausing to remember the sacrifice of our soldiers who gave and lost their lives in defending and protecting the many freedoms we enjoy in America, I am especially grateful to God for allowing my son (Air Force) to return home from two tours in Iraq and one tour in Afghanistan. Today he is in Germany celebrating Memorial Day with his family.

I am also grateful that God kept my nephew (Navy) safe and allowed him to return home to his family.

Thank You Lord, Amen

THIRSTY?

2009-03-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Friday, March 6, 2009
I thought about Jesus’ conversation with the woman at the well today when a co-worker walked into my work area looking for something to drink. "I’m looking for a drink that will quench my soul" he said to me. "There is no drink in the world that can ever quench your soul" I replied.
Unlike the woman at the well, who was thirsty for the Messiah, my co-worker was thirsty for something else and it wasn’t Jesus.

My biggest fear in being assigned to work in the Food Pantry Warehouse was that I might run into former clients and their family. Would my being unemployed and a recipient of General Assistance (being in the same boat they’re in) ruin my testimony of faith in Christ, before them?

On my first day I saw a former client’s sister who in the past, was very resistant to the gospel. To my relief she didn’t recognize me. But in route home at the end of the work day I felt convicted. So on my next scheduled work date I revealed myself to her. And to my surprise, she didn’t mock me; she was awed that despite my circumstance, my faith in Christ was still intact with a continued demonstration of care for her and her family.

Although she hasn’t made a commitment to Christ yet---who can say she won’t? Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why God has engineered my placement there that she and others are given opportunity to receive the gospel and be saved.

TRUTH

2009-02-26T22:12:00.000-08:00

"What is truth?" asked Pilate of Jesus. Illinoisans are probably asking the same question in light of Sen. Roland Burris’ ever changing story surrounding his appointment to the senate by former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

The world’s version of truth is based on whatever it chooses to be true, in order to achieve a desired goal or purpose. Even religious folks have its form of truth; it’s rooted in self-righteousness and pride. The practice of these types of truths enslaves us to our sin nature because it is based on the cravings of the flesh.

Jesus said, "If you abide in my word, you are my disciples indeed. And you will know the truth and the truth shall make you free."(John 8:31, 32)

The truth Jesus spoke of comes from Him and it is realized only in those who have saturated their heart and mind with the Word of God. The truth is no matter how high we’ve climbed the ladder of success; no matter what office or title we hold in the world or in the church----we are not exempt from sin and its entrapment. We are swayed to overlook our sin to protect our reputation or to gain power and position over others, and we’re all subject to being duped, and misled by Satan through close friends, associates and family.

The only person who is free from sin is Jesus, and we experience His freedom from our sin when we acknowledge it, repent, and align our will with His.

Most Gracious and Heavenly Father,
Create in me a fervent desire for Your Word to burn brightly in my heart and mind.
Continue to expose sin areas in my life, so I may experience freedom from my sin through repentance and forgiveness.
In Jesus’ name, Amen

GLORY in Poverty

2009-02-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

If my revisiting poverty results in one soul coming to Jesus, it is more than worth the trip.

As an eligibility requirement to receive General Assistance, I have to give one day a week working in the Township’s Food Pantry Warehouse packing food boxes for needy families. Today during lunch a young man asked me what I was reading. I told him, I was reading my Bible. Ten minutes later he came and sat near me and asked, "What are you reading now?

"The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis"

"What’s it about?"

After explaining to him what the book was about, he opened his heart to hear the gospel and conversation began centered around a personal relationship with Christ.

To GOD is the GLORY!

The Lifter Up of My Head

2009-02-14T04:39:00.000-08:00

I heard a song on the Worship Net channel by Jocelyn Brown that has refreshed my soul these past few weeks. The artist combined an old hymn (Leaning on the Everlasting Arms) with the song, "Praise the Mighty Name of Jesus."

The chorus of the song says –

Praise the mighty name of Jesus,
Praise the Lord the lifter up of my head –
Praise the Rock of my Salvation,
All my days are in His faithful hands.

Leaning, leaning, leaning on the Everlasting Arms –
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

I’ve been unemployed for 14 months. My unemployment benefits ran out in December. My life from a human viewpoint looks quite bleak. But from the standpoint of the scriptures presented in the song, I, even now; dwell in a place of blessedness. How? My life is in the Faithful Hands of Jesus. Because I trust Him to care for, and protect me I can lift my head above my troubles and worship Him. By His love for me He has touched the heart of people around me to share their substance with me. The Lord has given me favor with my landlord, allowing me to keep my apartment for less than what he’s due. He has even sent people to encourage me and stand in prayer with me. And most important-----just as He had taught me the blessedness in graciously giving to others; He has now taught me how to graciously receive from others as receiving from Him.

A POST ELECTION THOUGHT

2008-11-16T20:36:00.000-08:00

"For exaltation comes neither from the east nor from the west nor from the south, But God is the Judge: He puts down one, and exalts another." – Psalm 75:6, 7 (NKJ)

When one commits his/her life to walking on the water with Jesus, all of life’s decisions are based on an understanding and belief in the Word of God.

At age 53 this was the most intense presidential election I’ve participated in. I spent more time researching each candidate and their views than I did in previous elections. I also spent a great deal of time praying, asking God to show me what to look for-----including which candidate would be more receptive to His influence.

In light of the scriptures, this is what I observed of both candidates.

1 John 4:15 - "Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God."
When Both Senators spoke with Rick Warren, Sen. Obama confessed faith in Jesus, Sen. McCain did not.

Deuteronomy 5:20 – "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." In Sen. McCain’s campaign speeches, he assassinated his opponent’s character by falsely accusing him of being a socialist, a Muslim, and a Muslim friend of terrorists. Sen. Obama never slandered Sen. McCain character. What he said about Sen. McCain was that to elect him would be keeping President Bush in office.

Galatians 5:22-23 – "But the fruit of the Spirit is……..self-control……"
Sen. McCain’s own party described him as a hot-head; cursing and storming out of meetings when his views weren’t taken. Throughout the campaign, Sen. Obama’s character was that of self-restraint.

James 1:8 – "…..a double minded man, unstable in all his ways."
At the onset of the Economic Crisis, and throughout the campaign, Sen. McCain changed his position on how he would run the country several times; whereas Sen. Obama remained steadfast and focused. He never allowed himself to be tossed back and forth.

1 John 4:20 – "If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?"
The only time I hear Republicans speak against abortions is during presidential elections. Once they’re in office they do nothing to change our law concerning abortions. This makes me think that the topic of abortion is only a ploy to gain evangelicals’ votes. According to scripture, it’s impossible to love someone you can’t see, if you don’t have love for those you do see!
Beginning with President Reagan’s administration, I’ve notice that when Republicans are in office, all types of tax credits are granted to large businesses and corporations. After these companies receive their tax benefits, they pack up and move their companies overseas putting thousands of Americans out work. Despite their tales of why they do this, it all boils down to GREED. Where is the love for the American people that allow and support a company’s right to do this? Where is the love for individuals who can’t retire because the government allowed businesses to seize employees’ pensions for themselves after they bankrupt their companies? Where is the love for the working poor when government removes restraints (that would protect consumers) from greedy lenders that allow them to exploit the poor into thinking they can afford a house that the lender knows they can’t? Does the lender care? No, because he has already worked out a scheme to get the government to pay for the defaulted loans. Where is the LOVE?

In his choice of a VP, Sen. McCain chose someone who was weak in all the areas he is weak in. Sen. Obama chose a VP who is strong in areas he is weak in.

Sen. McCain’s campaign catered to evangelical leaders and the wealthy. Sen. Obama’s campaign catered to all Americans regardless of religion, gender, race, economic status or political party.

When Sen. Obama gave his acceptance speech it brought tears to my eyes. Not because he was elected as our country’s first African American president, but because his speech of unity should have been a message that our prominent evangelical leaders, and a particular Christian Radio Station (in Chicago) should have spread throughout our nation instead of the divisive and fearful propaganda they made against Sen. Obama.

I thank God, that in this election, the majority of Christian Americans from every culture in our nation chose to vote their own conscience instead of blindly following orders from the Pharisaic elite.

I pray God’s direction and protection over President Elect Obama, his family and the administration that will lead our country for the next four years. I pray he will never take lightly his responsibility as Commander in Chief. I also pray that he will walk in integrity and wisdom, with a heart that remains open to God’s prompting.

CHILD LIKE FAITH

2008-11-04T05:19:00.000-08:00

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:3

As we mature in age, and become indoctrinated in modern technology and its amazing powers, especially in the medical field------we lose our practical, child-like faith in the omnipotence of God. In our heads we know God is omnipotent, omniscience and sovereign. But experientially, we don’t know Him as such because we do not exercise our faith in these areas.

In our prayers for the terminally ill where there is no known cure, we ask God to please give the doctors the knowledge to make the person well. How come we won’t ask God, who created the human body to heal the individual? Why do we confine God to working through doctors and medical research only?

We read scriptures that we say we believe, where handkerchiefs and aprons were taken from Paul’s body and placed on the sick and they were healed. But, when challenged to do that today we say, “God doesn’t work like that anymore, that was for then not now.”

Four years ago, following the birth of her baby, my youngest daughter called to tell me she and the baby were coming to visit----she said she wanted to cook dinner for me. While she was in the kitchen preparing the meal I held my infant grandchild in my arms, walking and singing spiritual songs to her. My daughter sat down next to where I stood and touched the hem of my dress. A week later she called me. “Mom, remember when I touched the hem of your dress?” “Yes.” “Well, the doctor told me I had cancer and needed to think about having my uterus removed. I remembered the woman in the Bible who touched the hem of Jesus’ robe and she was healed (Luke 8:43-48). I know you are a woman of God, so I asked God if He would heal me if I touched the hem of your dress. I just came back from the doctor, the cancer is gone!”

I believe the reason we don’t experience God’s miracles in our presence today is because many of us don’t believe He can, or want to grant miracles as He did in the Bible.

In 1974 my family of three was in a personal famine after my husband was laid off his job. All we had in the house was a half a bag of pinto beans. Believing the scriptures that tell of God multiplying meal and oil for a widow, her son and the Prophet Elijah during a famine (1 Kings 17:11-16); I asked God to multiply my pinto beans. For a week, my husband, daughter and I ate pinto beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The pot never ran out of beans. Our famine ended on the seventh day.

At another time I prayed, asking God to multiply the gas in our car so we could pick up a family member who was in trouble and make it back to our house. We didn’t have any money to buy gas, nor did the relative we were helping. Remembering the woman, whose sons were about to be sold into slavery to pay a debt left by her deceased husband, and how God multiplied her small pot of oil to many pots of oil to sell, to get out of debt (2 Kings 4:1-7)--------------I asked God to multiply the gasoline in our car. He did.

Have you ever wondered about the two fish and five barley loaves the Lord multiplied to feed the five thousands (John 6:5-12)? It’s true. When unexpected guests stopped by my house to visit while I was preparing dinner (fried catfish) for my family, God multiplied the fish making enough to go around for everyone to be filled.

Child-like Faith in God believes God can do everything He says in His Word He can do. Child-like Faith in God enables us to practice what we read in scripture when our circumstances mirror what we’ve read.

My own healing from breast cancer was a result of my child-like faith in God. Well intentioned friends who had lost relatives to breast cancer tried their best to prepare me for certain death, especially after the chemotherapy didn’t work. But I held on to my child-like faith in God and His Word (John 9:3, 32) and He brought me through. The Lord worked through the surgeon to remove the cancer, but He healed the damage chemo did to my heart solo of the doctor’s hands.

BACK TO AFGHANISTAN

2008-07-14T03:55:00.000-07:00

On last Friday, my son returned to Afghanistan. My greatest fear since he joined the Air Force nine years ago was that he might end up in a war zone. This is the third war zone he’s been in.

I am so grateful to God for watching over my son. No matter how old our children are we never cease to want to put our arms around them and protect them from every threat of danger.

My arms are too short to reach him; I’m powerless to protect him as I did when he was young. So with hands clasp together and head bowed, I commit the care of my son into the hands of the Everlasting Father, the Mighty God; that He would grant me mercy in allowing my son to return home from the battle safe and sound. Amen

HOME FROM AFGHANISTAN

2008-06-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

My only born son came home on leave from Afghanistan last Wednesday. What a joy to see him. I am so grateful to God for keeping him safe. So far he has been to Korea, Iraq and Kuwait. He will return to Afghanistan in two weeks.

Yesterday I prepared him a catfish dinner with all of his favorite side dishes. In all the places he’s been to (including his home base in the US), he has not been able to get fried catfish.

It was hard for me to accept my son’s decision to pursue a career in the Air Force. He has always been an honor student from elementary school through college. It seemed to me he could have fulfilled his career goals in the civilian sector. However, he is pursuing (and fulfilling) his goals while serving his country. Admirable.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Please continue to watch over my only son. Keep him close to you in everything he encounters in war and life in general.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Real Equal Opportunity Employer

2008-06-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

Too old! Not old enough! Outdated Education. Looking for someone younger.

Since December 2007 I’ve been looking for employment. Above are the responses I’ve gotten. Funny, when I was younger seeking employment I was told, too young, too educated, not suited, lack experience.

Being over 50 but under 55 is not a good time to change careers or be unemployed. It’s a shame too, because at this age stability, fortitude, reliability, and life experience with gained wisdom are great assets to any company.

Though the world may be ready to put me to pasture, God is not.

As long as there is a burning passion for God within an individual, he or she is viable and valuable to Him. At age 85, Caleb told Joshua he was just as able to wage a winning fight as he was 45 years ago under Moses’ command. And he did. Moses himself was 80 years old when he was ready to be awesomely used by God. The Bible is full of accounts of how God used aged men and women (as well as the young) in His service. (God truly is an EOE!)

Despite my plight, I know the Lord has a plan for this phase of my life. God specializes in using what the world considers useless.

GOD'S GRACE

2008-04-19T05:34:00.000-07:00

I praise the Lord on today, my 53rd birthday. I praise Him for I am "fearfully and wonderfully made…….marvelous is His work in me." For I am "God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do."

Most Gracious and Heavenly Father,

I thank you for life eternal, and I also thank you for another year of physical life. I thank you Lord that when the doctor said he didn’t know if I’d make forty, you said more.

I present myself to thee O God as a living sacrifice, already made holy and acceptable by your own precious blood! I don’t want to be conformed by the world’s ideas and philosophy; but by the continuous renewing of my mind by your awesome Holy Spirit may my life demonstrate to the world what your good and perfect and acceptable will for all of humanity is. I pray that my life will be a sweet smelling fragrance unto you.

I Love you Lord, I thank you for being my source and sustainer in this life. I thank you for being with me in every crisis, every dark and painful situation. Thank you for your comfort when I was abandon betrayed and deserted. Thank you for healing my broken bones, removing cancer from my body, giving me shelter when I was homeless and providing for me while unemployed. I thank you for the healthy delivery of the birth of my four children and seven grandchildren. I thank you for the baptism of my granddaughter on last Sunday. And I thank you Lord for placing me in a new church family, Lorimer, and grafting me into service with them for you.

I thank you for revealing yourself to me. Use me daily Lord for your service and your glory. Reveal yourself to others through me. Let my life be unto the glory and honor and praise of you who has brought me out of darkness into your marvelous light!

Let the love, mercy, grace and forgiveness I’ve received from you, flow through me to others, especially those who have wronged or hurt me.

Live in me Lord Jesus, live in me.

In your name, Jesus, I pray, Amen.

UP FROM THE GRAVE!

2008-03-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

I awoke at 4:00am this morning in an intense battle against the grave of despair. I was in prayer till dawn. The following is the results of my won battle.

Up from the grave of despair I rose,
On bended knees to Jesus I chose.

Bearing my soul to Him alone,
Until His light within me shone.

Setting me free from my failures in life,
Through the Victory He won with Resurrection might!

YAHWEH SHAMMAH: The Lord Is There!

2008-02-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

In 1974 I was run over by a CTA bus. As a result I suffered a fractured left ankle and a fractured right knee. As the back wheels of the bus ran over my legs, the only words that came out of my mouth were, "Jesus, Jesus!" The Lord was there with me, He kept my bones from breaking through my flesh. It is because of this miracle that CTA and the doctors in the emergency room didn’t want to believe I was run over by a bus.

After two leg casts, 5 months in a wheel chair and several months on crutches along with physical therapy, I was walking again------without limping. The Lord was there with me through the entire recovery process; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Throughout my life God’s presence has been with me. When my marriage ended, He was there. When my mother died, He was there. When I can’t sleep at night, when I need direction, when I’m anxious, He, the Lord, is there with me. His presence is a never-ending source of comfort, encouragement, fellowship and help. I am never alone.

"And the name of the city from that day shall be: THE LORD IS THERE." - Ezekiel 48:35b (NKJV)

"Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" - 1 Corinthians 3:16 (NKJV)

If you are desiring a relationship that will never end, receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord and experience His presence ("Sirs, what must I do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." - Acts 16:30-31 NKJV).

"Jesus answered and said to him, If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him." - John 14:23 (NKJV)

YAHWEH JIREH (The Lord Provides)

2008-02-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

Being unemployed has reminded me of the time when I first experienced God personally as Yahweh Jireh - The Lord Provides.

It was in 1974. I was a young wife and mother, and my husband had been laid off from his job. After exhausting our savings and available resources, we were down to a half of bag of dried pinto beans. There was no salt pork or ham hock to add to the beans. There was no meal or flour for making bread----just beans.

I remembered the story of Elijah, a widow and her son during a famine in the land of Israel. The woman was about to use the last of her meal and oil to make bread for her and her son to eat, and then die. Elijah told her that if she made his bread first, God would not allow her meal and oil to run out. So she did. She made Elijah’s bread first and in return her meal and oil never ran out (1 Kings 17:8-16)!

I prayed, "Lord, just like the widow and her son, my household is in a famine. All I have is a half a bag of pinto beans. Please Lord, multiply these beans until the famine ends. Thank you Lord, amen."
We (my daughter, husband and I) ate pinto beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner for several days----the pot never ran out. The beans continued to multiply until the famine ended.

At another time, hungry guests unexpectedly came to visit. I was in the kitchen frying fish for dinner. I had just enough for my family. "Lord, what am I going to do? I can’t just turn them away----and I can’t take food from my family’s mouth to give them!" Immediately I saw in my mind the boy who gave to Jesus his lunch of two small fish and five barley loaves. Jesus took his lunch, blessed it, and fed more than five thousands people (John 6:5-13). I asked God to bless and multiply the fish to feed my household and my hungry guests. Every time I put my hand into the meal bag there was more fish to fry! There was enough fish to fill each hungry belly sitting at the table.

Down through the years God has proven Himself to me as a faithful provider. He has multiplied gas in the near empty tank of my car (2 Kings 4:1-7); opened doors to employment that were once shut in my face. He has dressed me in fine garments that I could not afford to buy for me. The Lord has even blessed me out of my need to bless others who were in greater need than I.

Needless to say, Yahweh Jireh continues to be my provider. He is more than enough for me.

I'M STILL WATER WALKING with JESUS

2008-01-07T01:36:00.000-08:00

Since December 13, 2007 my walk on the water with Jesus has taken a new direction. Unemployment. Though it is uncertain what type of employment I’ll do next, there is no uncertainty of the Lord’s faithful care of me. After all He is my Good Shepherd, a wise manager of my life and all that concerns me. I don’t have to worry about sinking. As long as I keep my hand in His I will continue to walk on water.

When I Think of the Cross of Jesus

2008-01-04T01:47:00.000-08:00

Submitted by Ron Leonard, Volunteer Rep. www.gfa.org

When I think of the cross of Jesus
I often wonder why he took so much pain and grief, and just for me He died.

He left His throne in glory, and counted it but loss;
To come to earth and die on an old rugged cross.

He said: "Father forgive them for they know not what they do"
As they beat Him and scourged Him, and He did it just for you.

Then He cried "It's Finished!!" as He died for you and me
That we might go to heaven and live eternally.

When I think of the cross of Jesus I wonder day to day why people scoff and say,
I can find another way.

For Jesus is on the only one that saves and sets men free,
And that's why my Saviour died on the cross of Calvary!!

THANKFUL

2007-11-23T12:40:00.000-08:00

The thing I’m most thankful to God for on this Thanksgiving Day is to be alive.

God has granted me an unbelievable overcoming life. In every situation; crisis, hardship, illness, etc., God has brought me through with my sanity in tack and my limbs in working order.

VACATION END

2007-08-31T21:02:00.001-07:00

I spent today, the last day of my vacation, at Rainbow Beach. In fact that’s where I’m writing this entry.

The water is so beautiful. At the furthest point it’s a stunning deep blue. The middle is green and the part closest to the shore is a mixture of blue, olive green and gray with white foam riding atop the gentle waves rolling up along the shore.

There’s a nice cool breeze blowing---scattered walkers, middle age mostly, and sea gulls perch on the shore’s edge. The sky is a heavenly blue dissolving into a pastel blue afar out on the horizon. The sand, light tan in color, is glistening in the sunlight. The sound of the waves is so relaxing and peaceful to watch. What a beautiful world God created for us to enjoy and care for.

When my children were young, I’d put the two youngest ones in the stroller and the two older ones on either side of me holding on to the side of the stroller and we would walk over to Rainbow Beach That was in the 70’s. I and my husband enjoyed living on the southeast side of Chicago. Being near the lake was always a big plus for us and the kids.

My son in his many travels across the country and overseas says he has never seen a skyline as beautiful as Chicago’s skyline.

OOPS!

2007-08-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

In the words of the Psalmist, "my foot almost slipped when I looked at the prosperity of the wicked." Psalm 73:1-3

I almost slipped when I allowed the world to briefly squeeze me into its mode of thinking. For a moment I had forgotten how blessed I was when I looked at my salary, my lifestyle, and my vocation as a preschool teacher.

Because I live frugally, I felt I should have tangible assets, and a retirement savings. My salary, before taxes, is nice; but since I’m single without dependents, after taxes I’m on the border line of poverty. I love my job, but it’s a low income profession without health insurance or benefits. I live from paycheck to paycheck.

I thought about my second gift, writing. I’ve been published in other people’s works, websites, ezines, and Christian publications with little or no compensation. Am I allowing myself to be taken advantage of?

Should I abandon my dreams of making a difference in the children I work with; and in sharing the gospel through writing? Should I take a second job? If I do, I’ll be too tired to give my best to my students, too burned out to pursue Christ through writing, and no time to attend church.

As frustration started to set in I turned to Philippians 4. As I read the words Apostle Paul wrote from his jail cell, peace began to replace my anxiety as I began to focus on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtue, and praise.

JESUS! He’s true to His Word; honest, just, pure and lovely in His care of me! When I look at my life through Jesus there is always a good report to give of what He is doing in my life. When I dwell in His power and open my mouth in praise unto Him I find myself enjoying life and accomplishing great things through His strength regardless of my circumstance.

After all, He is my Good Shepherd, the manger and caretaker of my whole life. Peace that eludes the world is mine when I remember that I am a child of the Living God.

"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU"

2007-07-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

Whenever I feel uncertain about the course my life is taking, or feel that God is absence from directing my steps; I’ll open my journal and began reading entries from the previous year.

Recently I was feeling as such, so I opened my journal and began reading last year’s entries beginning at January 2006. On March 18, 2006, I wrote about a dream I had in which my momma asked me to write what I wanted her to read at my funeral. I didn’t even remember writing this. But as I read it the dream replayed in my mind. Two months later my mom died and I wrote her obituary.

Although I had misunderstood the dream, God had gently showed me what was to come to pass. He proved to me once again that He is always by my side; even when I can’t feel Him or discern His presence, He is right here, leading, guiding and preparing.

MY EARNEST PRAYER

2007-07-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

My biggest concern for myself is that I don’t fall away from the Lord. Periodically I examine myself to see if I’m still walking and living by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The United States is moving so far away from the Biblical Principles that made it great and strong; it’s frightening. I don’t want to be caught up in the group of people who claim to be godly but deny the power of God’s Word and His Precepts.

Ancient Israel thought they could live like the world around them and enter the temple on the Sabbath and offer God token obeisance and God would continue to bless and keep them as a strong and powerful nation. How wrong they were. God doesn’t need our worship of Him. He’s not insecure, He knows who He is! Worship is for us; to remind us of who He is, and what our purpose is in Him. God longs to have a relationship with His people, not a song and dance show given in an attempt to appease Him.

Dear Lord, keep me near your bosom. Please continue to indwell my heart and spirit. I want to experience your presence in every area of my life. I thank you Lord Jesus for every miracle and every answered prayer. I even thank you for prayers unanswered because as your sheep, I am content to have everything you want me to have, and will receive in your timing things not yet received that you have for me.
I also thank you for turning the heart of my eldest daughter back to you. Keep her strong from the drug abuse of her husband. Keep her children (my grandchildren) safe in your arms. Continue to minister your Word and your presence to all of my children, grandchildren, and children in law, siblings and their families, and all my relatives.

I love you Lord, Amen

THE HIGHEST CALL

2007-05-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

I used to think that the highest call a woman could have was to be a wife and mother. My role model (and goal) of a perfect wife was the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31.

After 24 years of applying the principles of Proverbs 31 my marriage didn’t produce children calling me blessed and my husband lifting his voice in praise of his wife; instead it was filled with repeated acts of infidelity and finally, divorce. For a long time I was angry, confused and hurt that the scriptures didn’t work for me.

Ten years later, on this past Mother’s Day I received a card from one of my daughters with the following quote:

"Let her works bring her praise." Proverbs 31:31

My son lifted his voice in praise before his fiancé of the discipline and instruction he received from me as a child.

My youngest daughter praised me before her employers and co-workers as a mother that made their clothes, fixed special meals, looked after the neighborhood kids, and spent time doing arts and crafts and other family activities with her and her siblings.

My nephew called from the county jail to tell me that he loved me, and thanked me for taking in him and his brother when their mother had abandon them. He went on to thank me for teaching him godly morals, disciplining him and feeding him well; and that him being incarcerated wasn’t because I failed in caring for him, it was because of his wrong choices.

My eldest daughter called to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and to say that she loved me.

And alas, my ex-husband expressed he didn’t know how blessed he was in having me as a wife until after he divorced me.

The Word of God is true. When it is lived and expressed through the life of the believer it does not come back void (Isaiah 55:11).

Today, I know without a doubt, that the highest call a woman can have is to be A CHILD OF THE LIVING GOD.

A MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATION

2007-05-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

On Mother’s Day 2006 my mother passed from this life into eternity with the Lord. I remember the night I got the call.

"Ann, Momma’s in the hospital, you need to start praying," my youngest sister said. As I began to intercede for my mother a peace filled my bedroom where I was praying. This peace that I felt was both internal and external. It was a presence of peace all around me; hugging and holding me. So comforting and serene was the presence in my room that I laid down and went to sleep.

When the phone rang an hour later, I was told momma had died. "That’s impossible," I said to myself, "how could Momma be dead when I’m experiencing so much peace?"

It still doesn’t seem like she’s gone until I reach for the phone to share with her an experience, or ask a question about something and I realize I can’t call her.

I thought this day would be painfully unbearable, but it’s not. Mother’s Day is a day of celebration and rejoicing. I can’t think of a better day than Mother’s Day for a godly mother to receive the ultimate gift of fulfillment; entrance into the eternal presence of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

I'M STILL HERE!

2007-04-21T07:04:00.001-07:00

It is often said that women don’t like to reveal their age as they get older. But for me, each year is a cause for celebration. Twelve years ago, two months before my 40th birthday, my doctor told me he couldn’t promise I’d live to see it because of cancer and the damage chemotherapy did to my heart.

But Jesus, the Lord God Omnipotent, granted me mercy and allowed me to see my 40th birthday and beyond. On April 19 I celebrated my 52nd Birthday. Each day of each year I am ever grateful for the grace of God manifested in my life.

O how I pray that my life become more and more each day a song of Praise, Glory and Honor unto the Lord; a sweet smelling fragrance unto Him.

Thank You JESUS for life and Life Eternal.

A RESURRECTION DAY THOUGHT

2007-04-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

Every year during Good Friday Services, the seven last sayings of Christ from the cross are always expounded on. And every year, whoever speaks on the forth saying, "My God, my God why hast thou forsaken me?" explains Jesus’ statement as being in response to God turning His face from Him because a holy God can’t look on sin.

As I sat in this year’s Good Friday Service I heard something different as the speaker spoke on the forth saying of Christ.

Since Jesus is God manifested in humanity, I believe "my God, my God why hast thou forsaken me" was spoken for our benefit to let us know that God had met His own requirement for the payment of our sins when He hung and died on the cross. It isn’t impossible for God to look on sin; He sees our sin everyday. From Adam and Eve’s rebellion, to their son’s act of murder and down through the ages God has looked on man’s sins. This is why He came to offer Himself in our place to redeem us from our sins. It isn’t that God can’t look on sin; it is sin that separates us from relationship with God.

"My God, my God why hast thou forsaken me?" speaks of His internal agony on the cross as He bore not only our sins but the sins of the entire world; past, present and future. He became our filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). All of our perverseness, wickedness, rebellion and iniquity fell on him (Isaiah 53:5). He became dirty and unclean with our sins. So agonizing was this experience for a holy and sinless God that the weight of our sins was more torturous than the nails that pierced His hands and feet; more excruciating than the spear that pierced His side. I believe His divinity was in intense conflict with His humanity when He became sin for us. That’s why He utters those words.

In grasping this truth, I begin to search myself, looking for signs that I too shared in Christ’s suffering to rid my life of sin. For the proof that we are partakers of His divine nature is seen in our own internal conflict between the indwelling spirit of God and our old sinful nature. There should be in each of us a groaning and painful longing for our bodies to be translated from its present condition (Romans 8:21-23).

II Corinthians 13:5 instructs us to examine (scrutinize) ourselves to make sure that Christ is being formed in us. I want to know (by experience) that the resurrection power of Christ is at work in me (Philippians 3:10).

A REWARDING DAY

2007-03-07T04:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a very rewarding day for me as a Christian mom. My son called me at 7:00am. He didn’t call to complain or talk about his problems. He called to talk about his faith in JESUS!

He summed up his excitement in knowing Jesus by saying, “Mom, I’m glad God put you in my life because if it weren’t for your teaching me about Jesus I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. I know that I’m blessed because of your faith in God for me.”

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY HERO

2007-02-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

My uncle (my mother’s brother) died Wednesday, February 7th; eight months after my mom’s death.

My childhood memory of him is that of a super hero. Uncle Luke was a mild mannered Clark Kent kind of guy. He was pleasant, easy going, not easily shaken by life’s periodic storms. He even wore black horn rimmed glasses like Clark Kent.

I never associated him with Clark Kent until I witness the Superman side of him. My parents had gotten into an argument and my father had become violent and physically abusive to my mother. When Uncle Luke walked through the door, he immediately jumped between my mom and dad, and with a powerful voice of authority restored order to a violent situation. No one ever stood up to my dad like Uncle Luke.

He will truly be missed.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2007-01-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Saturday evening (12-30-06) I sat contemplating what changes would occur in the New Year.  I grabbed my journal and read over its pages of the current year, looking for growth and areas in my life I would need to change.

I thought about my eldest daughter and her husband’s drug abuse, and my grandchildren caught in the middle of their mess.  Depression began to overwhelm me as financial concerns and job conflicts joined the despairing party in my mind.

It was in that moment that I cried out, “Lord, I need a word from you that will bring peace and hope to my troubled spirit.”
As I leaned back in my chair trying to find a comfortable position, the following words came to my mind.

“I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE FIRST AND THE LAST, THE BEGINNING AND THE ENDING.  BESIDES ME, THERE IS NO OTHER!”

I sat up straight and began to meditate on the above scriptures.  Peace returned as I realized that the creator of the universe was still in charge!  There is nothing I encounter in life that He is not able to carry me through.

Not only will He hear my prayers for my daughter and grandchildren, He already has!  My grandchildren’s school has begun monitoring my daughter’s care of the children; family members are no longer giving her and her husband money, but are purchasing whatever it is they say they need the money for; and drugs are no longer being used in the house.

Whichever way my finances go, up, down or remain the same, God will provide for and take care of me.  He is before me and behind me; there is no way I can fall from His care.

EMANUEL: GOD WITH US

2006-12-25T03:24:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day was the day the Incarnate Christ came as a babe and dwelt among us.

He experienced our life, finite; that we might take hold of His life, infinite.

And we who have received Him as Savior and Lord; He is more than among us---He is now in us!

CHRIST'S TREE

2006-12-25T03:20:00.000-08:00

Christ’s Tree wasn’t a pine decorated with tinsel, baubles and miniature colored lights.

It was a rugged tree striped of its foliage, made into a cross decorated with His battered and torn body; trimmed in His blood.

The gifts under His tree aren’t toys and items of temporal pleasures.

His gifts are perpetual; the Holy Spirit and Everlasting Life!

HOPE AGAIN

2006-12-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

HOPE AGAIN

God has given me hope for my eldest daughter. He reminded me of His call to each one of my four children. And since He delivered my other three children from their destructive paths and set them in the right direction; He will do the same for my eldest child.

GRIEVED IN SPIRIT

2006-12-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

“The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.”  -Genesis 6:6

For the first time in 33 years of being a mother I feel sorry, grieved that I ever gave birth to my eldest child.

I so much wanted to be a good mother to my four children that I took child development classes so I would know how to correctly nurture and care for them.  I also studied the scriptures to learn how to raise godly children and to be an example to them in following the Lord.  I even taught them from my mistakes so they wouldn’t have to make the same ones.

But my first born, my eldest child chose to listen to worldly friends and reject sound guidance from God’s Word.  She married a man with a long history of drug abuse, who has for the entire seven years of their marriage drugged up every penny she managed to save.  And now she is drugging with him and my six grandchildren are caught in the middle.

Though God grieved at man’s depravity, rebellion against all He wanted for him, He didn’t give up on him.  He provided a way of redemption that man might be reconciled back to Him.

It is this attribute of God that I seek after.  I pray for grace and strength not to give up on my daughter; to hope that she will be reconciled back to God, and for the safety and salvation of my grandchildren.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING TO THE LORD!

2006-10-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

Tears flooded my eyes today during Morning Worship when the Worship Pastor sang the song by Ray Boltz, “Thank You for Giving to the Lord.”

As he sung, I was reminded of a dream I had years ago when I served as a Jail & Prison Chaplain. I was an invisible witness to a conversation between an ex-offender and Jesus. The ex-offender with joy and excitement in his eyes hastily ran to Jesus worshipping Him and thanking Him for sending Anna (me) to share the gospel with him.

As the pastor continued to sing tears trickled down my cheeks as my mind looked upon the face of Sis. Lucille Henry. She was the youth pastor’s wife of the church I attended when I was a teenager. During those years my life was full of turmoil. She listen to me, took me on outing with her family; she invested the love of Jesus in my life. It was her and others like her that gave unto the Lord in ministering to me. They are the inspiration God used to propel me to giving unto the Lord in making a difference in the life of the children He has placed around me.

There in the sanctuary I began to re-thank God for all the people He sent to impart Him into my life and for using me to do the same in the life of others.

“Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I’m a life that was changed;
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I’m so glad that you gave.”

“For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” Hebrews 6:10 NKJV

STILL GOT WORK TO DO!

2006-09-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

My mother's death was so unexpected and unplanned that I began to feel like I could be, and might be next! So, I asked God if I was next to die. I laid down and had a wondrous dream.

I dreamed I was walking up some steep white steps with a group of people. The steps ended at a landing where a long narrow white table stood with a male behind it handing out report cards. The person's face was never shown, but I knew it was a male by his voice.

When individuals before me received their report card, they walked over to the left where there was an opening that led to a place that was baby blue in color with white clouds. Each person who received their report card walked into this open space.

When I reached the landing, I was handed my report card. My grades were not A status as I thought; the person behind the desk said, "It's not time for you to graduate, go back down." As I walked down the stairs with my report card I woke up. I understood the dream to mean I still have work to do.

I have also begun to put my house in order so that when it is my time to graduate, my affairs will be taken care of.

FORGIVEN TO FORGIVE

2006-07-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

The proof that you have experienced God’s forgiveness is when you no longer struggle to forgive others.

My first marriage lasted 24 years. Within those years, whenever any crises occurred, my former husband would desert me and our children, leaving us to weather the storm alone. When things got better, he’d come back. After repeating this cycle several times (the last time being the straw that broke the camel’s back), I gave him the divorce he threaten me with, and refused him entrance back into my life.

This past Wednesday he was hospitalized for heart failure. As soon as I heard I began praying for his recovery; pleading with God to extend his life, giving him another chance to know Jesus as his personal Savior and Lord.

I feel nothing but compassion and mercy for him. And I know it is because of God’s mercy and compassion in His forgiveness toward me.

Dear Lord, I thank you for forgiving me of every one of my sins against you. May I forever transmit your love and forgiveness of me, toward everyone who has sinned against me. In Jesus’ name, Amen

THREE IN ONE

2006-07-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel so alone; like I’m the only one left.

I, my mother, and her mother; we were a threesome. My faith in Jesus was nurtured by these two women.

Just before my grandmother died, she said her greatest desire was that my mom’s two brothers and sister would accept Christ. She also hoped that her grandchildren who rejected Christ would change their mind and accept Him.

After her passing it became I and my mother’s prayer that my two uncles and aunt and their children; my siblings (spouses) and their children would accept Jesus and develop a trusting faith in Him.

Now my mother is gone, and I stand alone among my family in continuing the prayer.

Before she passed, my son and middle daughter returned to the Lord; two of my seven brothers have become ministers (my eldest brother is a pastor); another brother has begun seeking the Lord; and one of my three sisters is active in church. One of my uncles is attending church, and some of his children are in church. My aunt and her children reject everything that involves church and one of her daughters is into Hinduism.

I received a phone call from one of my younger brothers. He called to tell me he was released from prison and is now in a halfway house. He said he’s given his life to the Lord and desire that I write and keep him in prayer.

I will continue in prayer.

LIFE GOES ON

2006-06-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a little over a month since mom's passing. It still doesn't seem like she's gone until I pick up the phone to call and realize that I can't.

We use to talk to one another 2-3 times a week. Sharing our writing, recipes for one, our grown children, grandchildren, and for her--great-grandchildren. We also shared our faith in Jesus.

My missing her is not grief, its just loneliness for her conversation. I know she's in the presence of the Lord with grandma. Truly these two women have done for me what Timothy's mother and grandmother did for him (2 Timothy 1:5).

MOTHER'S DAY 2006

2006-05-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

My mom died today, May 14, 2006 at 11:30pm. She has completed her walk on the water with Jesus; she is safe in His presence.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2006-04-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

On April 19, I celebrated another year of life. When I look over my history, I can truly say that despite the ups and downs of marriage, child rearing, divorce, illness, crisis, etc., I've lived thus far a very full life.

In every circumstance confronted with, Jesus was with me. Sometimes He walked alongside me and sometimes He carried me. Sometimes He stirred others to be His voice of comfort and hand of deliverance, and at other times He personally whispered words of peace, and lifted me from the pit.

Water walking with Jesus; its the only way to live a life of VICTORY!

LOVE

2006-02-26T14:16:00.000-08:00

LOVE

As the eldest daughter among 11 siblings, sacrificing one’s desires for family was a way of life. By the time I reached adulthood, putting myself at the end of the line became to me as natural as breathing.

This past Valentine’s Day I did something I don’t ever recall doing. I took time out to express love for myself. I bought myself a yellow rose and a box of Valentine Chocolates that read “To Someone Special.”

I am someone special; special enough that Jesus left heaven, came to earth and sacrificed His life for me on Calvary’s Cross; so special I am to Him that He took His shed blood and washed all my sins away; giving me peace and everlasting life.

BLESS THE LORD O MY SOUL!

2006-01-22T04:25:00.000-08:00

“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all HIS benefits:

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;
Who healeth all thy diseases;”

Today is the second day of my recovery from Acute Bronchitis. I didn’t know what was wrong with me this past Thursday. I was in so much pain I couldn’t drive myself home from work; I had to call my daughter to come pick me up. When I got to the clinic, I had a high fever, headache and chills.

“Acute Bronchitis” the doctor told me, an infection has settled on your bronchial tubes.” He then gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and follow up.

For those first two days I couldn’t do anything but lie in bed moaning, sip water and cough up phlegm. By the third day I could get out of bed, fix myself breakfast, lunch and dinner; check my email and put together my lesson plan for Monday. And today, Sunday, I am ever so grateful to God for my recovery. I’d never thought about the havoc one tiny germ entering the body can cause till now. What a great opening for a show and tell lesson to my preschoolers to reinforce personal hygiene.

FORGETTING and REACHING FORWARD

2006-01-04T04:56:00.000-08:00

I have purpose in my heart since January 1st to forget a particular loss of last year and reach forward to the thing the Lord has ahead for me.

Since making this declaration, my mind seems to be wondering in the past more than ever. But I’ve found that verbalizing my goal in my own ears (“forgetting those things that are behind”) causes my thoughts to shift in forward motion.

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME

2005-12-28T04:39:00.000-08:00

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; . . . “Isaiah 55:17

Even when I didn’t know a weapon was being formed against me, God did! And, He didn’t allow the weapon to be successful; in fact, it backfired on the person who formed it.

How can I not serve such an awesome Lord who continues to have my best interest at heart?

HAPPY INCARNATION DAY LORD JESUS!

2005-12-25T16:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord Jesus, I thank you for entering humanity as a babe; experiencing my life – from childhood to adult. YOU fulfilled YOUR requirement for holy righteousness and have accredited it unto me by my faith in what you did for me!

Though I seek to acknowledge YOU and live a life of worship that honors you daily; today, I just want to increase in my reverence to YOU.

I love you Lord, Anna

LORD, I AM READY TO GO WITH THEE, BOTH INTO PRISON, AND TO DEATH!

2005-11-13T09:41:00.000-08:00

Like many of us today, Peter declared unshaken loyalty and devotion to Jesus; even “into prison, and to death!” (Luke 22:33)

He was sincere in his declaration! Peter really thought he could do it! He was so sure…….so sure that he didn’t heed Jesus’ insight of his weakness; that he would deny knowing Him three times before the rooster crowed (Luke 22:34). That was just the first warning to his weakness; the second warning came with an opportunity to overcome his weakness in the Garden of Gethsemane, when twice Jesus instructed him as well as the other disciples to pray that they enter not into temptation (Luke 22:40, 45-46).

Recently, following my own fervent prayer of pledged devotion to the Lord; He showed me an area of weakness in my life that I too was unaware of. Immediately the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance the above scriptures and without debate I began to pray, seeking the Lord’s resurrection power of victory in that area of my life.

After several days of consistent prayer, I know that by the Spirit of Jesus, I will be able to stand when confronted with the test.

Thank You Jesus

2005-09-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

Thank You Jesus!

Since January of this year I have been without a car.  On my salary I could not afford a car note, so I asked God to bless me with a good running, paid for vehicle that I could handle the insurance and maintenance.

Well, Jesus always goes beyond what we ask or think.  Yesterday (Saturday), the Lord had delivered to my apartment, a good running economy car that was paid for (no cost to me) including plates, vehicle sticker and insurance paid six months in advance.  Hallelujah!  Glory to God!  Thank you Jesus!

Many times I was tempted to repeat the same mistake of the previous year; buy a $200 junk car from a friend that didn’t last three months after numerous repair costs and finally falling apart creating parking tickets before having it towed and junked.

No, this year I had determined in my heart to trust the Lord to honor my prayer needs for a car.  Each morning I would limp on painful, swollen, arthritic joints to the bus stop to get to work; and repeat the same ritual for eight blocks to the bus stop in route home from work.  I would fight back tears of pain and self-pity by praying and praising God for His mercy and grace toward me.  I also thanked Him for the car I knew in my heart He was preparing for me.

Thank You Lord Jesus for your many blessings to me!

AREN’T YOU GLAD GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCE?

2005-09-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

As a nation we screwed up big time in the inefficient manner in which we cared for our own during the approach, hit and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

We proved we could learn from our wrong when Hurricane Rita appeared on the weather charts. Citizens lacking the means to evacuate on their own were transported by the government out of harm’s way with provision for food, water and other necessities.

Second Chances to right wrongs are not given just to nations, but to individuals too. As I viewed our government’s corrective measures in caring for its own during Hurricane Rita, I recognized corrective changes in my life in areas that I had before failed in.

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord.

This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me, you have become my salvation.”

-Psalm 118:17-21

LIFE IS A TRIP (AND A JOURNEY)

2005-08-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Life is a trip and a trip (journey)! And after 50 years of living, I’ve discovered that when I lived my life in response to Jesus’ love, patience, forgiveness, grace and mercy unto me, I could WALK ON WATER! In other words I could do the impossible.

The only guarantee in life comes when you give your life to Jesus; He will never leave you or forsake you.

There’s no guarantee that your spouse will never leave you; your children will honor and appreciate you; your family and friends will support you in your dreams and endeavors; and those who you reached out to help will return the favor when you need help.

But if you love and respect your spouse in response to Jesus’ love and respect for you; if you love, care and sacrifice for your children because of Jesus’ love, care and sacrifice for you; if you support your family and friends in their dreams and endeavors because you acknowledge Jesus as the giver and source of fulfillment of your dreams and endeavors; and if you reach out to help the stranger and those in need because when you were in need of salvation and deliverance Jesus met your need, and if no one in the above list said “I love you” or “thank you” or “God bless you” or even returned the favor, I guarantee you, JESUS WILL!

Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 27:10; Matthew 10:39; I John 3:16

A TUMULTUOUS WALK on the WATER with JESUS

2005-08-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

It’s been a stormy walk on the water with Jesus these past two weeks. As a mother it’s hard for me not to look with grief at the tumultuous waves of contention and misunderstanding between me and my daughters and keep my focus on Christ. He has assured me that the waves will cease if I stop wrestling against the angry waves in my weakness and allow Him to speak peace to the situation.

So today I for the eighth time in two weeks placed my daughters and myself before the Lord to reconcile us; and allowed His peace to flood my mind and my soul.

GOD IS LIKE.........

2005-07-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I was feeling a little down so I decided to wear my T-shirt that has the poem “God is like” printed on the front to encourage me.

Later, seated on the bus in route home from work, a young man got up from his seat behind me and asked could he read my shirt.

After reading the last line of the poem he exclaimed, “Wow, I like that, I really like that!” He returned to his seat with such an expression of joyful peace that was so touching that I decided to post it.

GOD is like……..

God is like COKE… He’s the real thing.
God is like PAN AM… He makes the going great.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC… He lights your path.
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN… He works wonder.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS… He cares enough to send the very best.
God is like TIDE… He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like VO5 HAIR SPRAY… He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP… Aren’t you glad you know Him? Don’t you wish everyone did?
God is like SEARS… He has everything.
God is like ALKA SELTZER… Try Him, you’ll like Him.
God is like SCOTCH TAPE… You can’t see Him, but you know He’s there.

A FATHER'S LOVE

2005-06-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today, Father’s Day, I’m reminded of my father who passed away 29 years ago.

The first time he ever said, “I love you” was on his deathbed. I imagined it took a lot of courage for him to say those three powerful words to me.

My father died of alcoholism resulting from his failure to follow his heart. He allowed himself to be forced into choices that were beneficial to the ones doing the forcing, but not to him or to my mother. His giving in resulted in guilt, anger and frustration; he sought relief through drinking, which only open the door to additional problems.

I spent most of my growing up being fearful of my father because the majority of the time I saw him he was in a drunken rage. But there were times when I suspected that he really did love me.
One time in particular, I was 13, he promised to buy me an electric organ for Christmas. Because of his drinking, my dad was often in and out of work. It took my mother’s meager wages to keep us from being homeless and there seemed to never be any monies for Christmas presents. One of my older brothers would work odd jobs just so presents could be put under the tree for our younger siblings.

One day, my girlfriend came over with a Christmas toy catalog bragging about the table top organ her parents were getting her for Christmas. “What are you getting Ann?” she asked. “Oh nothing,” I replied “Christmas is about Jesus’ Birthday not mine.” That was my way of dealing with the truth that there was never any money for Christmas presents for us older children. After she left, my father with anger in his voice said, “Do you want an organ for Christmas?” I hesitated, not wanting to upset him, “Yes sir” “Well this year nobody is getting a Christmas Present but Ann. Big Eyes (his nickname for me) you are going to get your organ!”

I was ecstatic! Not only was I getting a Christmas present this year, but was getting an organ. "Now I can learn to play just like momma (My mother played the piano)!" I couldn’t wait to tell my girlfriend that I was going to get an organ too. As Christmas approached I became worried that maybe my father wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. And sure enough Christmas came and there was no organ. How could I face my friends? How could I explain that I didn’t get my organ? I imagined them laughing at me and calling me a liar. “She didn’t get anything for Christmas!” I heard the voices say in my head.

During the entire holiday break I avoided my friends, and then a few days before school resumed, my dad came home with a huge box under his arms. “Here Big Eyes” he said, “I told you, you would get your organ!” My dad didn’t get me the table top organ my girlfriend got; he bought me an organ that stood on its own legs with a matching bench and 2 song books.

I don’t know how he was able to grant my Christmas wish since he was out of work that year. He had to pass up many of bottles of Jim Bean and Old Grand Dad to pull off such a feat, and I know he couldn’t have done it if he didn’t love me.

Though I no longer have my organ, I do still have the books that came with it. And when ever I look at its cover I see my little organ standing next to my mom’s piano and I remember the joy in my father’s eyes as he presented me with my present.

Most children blame their parents for them turning out all screwed up because they didn’t fulfill their ideal of what their parents should have been, but not me. I believe that the father God blessed me with help make me a better person. His life served as a guide for me to correct his mistakes by not repeating them in my life. And when I look at my children I see that they have corrected my mistakes by not repeating them in their life.

I thank God for my Dad, he was a one of kind father; the kind that God knew I needed.

MEMORIAL DAY REFLECTIONS

2005-05-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

I never really thought much about Memorial Day’s meaning until now. From my childhood up it was just another day off from school and another day off from work; and a day for family and friends to come together for a backyard barbeque.

But since my son’s active participation in the Iraqi war, Memorial Day is no longer a day of social pleasure. It’s a day of solemn reflection of thanks and gratitude to God for allowing my son to return from the war sane and in one peace. And not just my son, but a cousin who served in Viet Nam; an uncle who returned from the Korean War, and my father who made it home just before the outbreak of war in Korea. My thoughts then traveled to the countless men and women who have lost their lives in war to preserve the freedom we enjoy as Americans and secure freedom for countries less fortunate then us.

Despite all of America’s ills and inconsistencies, we are still a blessed nation. And to those of us who put our faith and our focus on the Lord above that of politicians and government leaders, we are extremely blessed.

TO GOD IS THE GLORY FOR THE THINGS HE HAS DONE!

A MOTHER'S DAY THOUGHT

2005-05-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

My favorite Mothers’ Day scripture is found in Isaiah 49:15-16. Here the Lord personifies His love for His people as a nursing mother.

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands;" (KJV)

What an awesome expression of love. In its context, Israel is in captivity to her enemies as a result of her disobedience to God. And though she feels abandon and forgotten, God uses the prophet Isaiah to express His continued love and care for His people.

We often see God’s love expressed in scripture as that of a father or husband, but here we see a description of His love that is synonymous to mothers. It has been said that when it comes to parents dealing with difficult children, a mother’s love and patience far exceeds that of the father. Yet there comes a time when even mothers become exhausted and give up. But God, in this passage of scripture has committed Himself to the faithful rearing, nurture and care of His people despite their inconsistencies and shortcomings. Though He chasten, He still loves.

It’s comforting to know that when life seems to be crashing in all around us; be it chastisement for sin, or suffering as a servant of Christ, we can crawl into the arms of a loving Father. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus. Nothing and no one can separate us, or pluck us out of His hands. We are permanently and perpetually secure in His faithfulness to us.

Many times in the midst of failure, disobedience and distress, I’ve crawled into the arms of the Father via sincere and humble prayer. It is here that I experience His comforting and forgiving presence; the sweet smelling fragrance of His breath drying the tears from my eyes, reassuring me with memories of His past faithfulness with the promise of continued faithfulness of His love and care for me today and forever more.

AS MUCH AS LIETH IN YOU. . . .

2005-04-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

An incident occurred at work that reminded me of my eldest brother Oscar. His mild-mannered nature often made people think he was weak and cowardly, but that was far from the truth. He demonstrated a kind of power and strength that I never recognized until now.

Two other brothers, one older than I and the other younger, were pranksters. They loved making mischief, taking great pleasure in disrupting whatever we found enjoyable. The only one of my parents' eleven children they couldn't upset was Oscar. No matter what they did, hide his comics books (he always had a stash they didn't know about); mess with his 45rpm (45s and LPs that were valuable he kept hidden in a place no one ever found), etc., etc., they couldn't disturb his peace of mind.

I remember one evening when our parents were out, these two mischief makers decided to play a trick on Oscar by sprinkling sugar all over his dinner while he was upstairs getting a comic book to read while he ate. The two hid in the shadows of the living room smiling to each other waiting for the desired outcome of their plan. Oscar came downstairs, sat at the table with his comic book and said, "I know what y'all did to my food, but I'm going to eat it anyway!" and with a smile on his face he did. With their plan backfiring in their face, the two culprits angrily stomped upstairs to their bedroom.

When co-workers began to play similar pranks on me, I heard the words of Romans 12:18 - "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." As I meditated on its meaning and application to my situation, I remembered how Oscar handled our prankster brothers and followed his example.

When teaching tools and supplies important to my work, began to disappear I stopped leaving them in the classroom; I take them home with me each night. When access to shared materials were denied (phonic cards, CDs, CD Player etc.) me, I waited till after school and made personal copies for my own use and brought my own CD player. And when I discovered notes and progress reports to the parents were being removed from my students' cubbies (my shift ends before the children are picked up), I started coming to work early so I can greet the parents when they bring their children to school and hand deliver notes and progress reports.

To some this course of action may seem unnecessarily painstaking. It very well may be, but the results are worth it. My employer is at peace because she doesn’t have to waste valuable time trying to resolve petty issues between employees; I’m at peace because I’m able to do my job without interruption; and my mischief making coworkers have been stilled, at least for a season.

Return from Iraq

2005-04-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

AN EXPERIENTIAL GOOD FRIDAY

2005-03-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

As I read the scriptures surrounding Jesus’ trial before the religious leaders and Pilate, I began to have flash backs of recent false accusations made against me by a co-worker before my employer in an attempt to have me fired.Though my employer/owner like Pilate knew I wasn’t guilty of the charges, she was unable to administer justice on my behalf because she and my accuser had become bonded through gossip and unscrupulous activities.

On our journey to become one with Christ we must be willing to publicly endure the pain and humiliation of the cross in order to be recipients of His resurrection power of victory in our life (Phil. 3:10). The way of the cross will always look and feel like failure and shame; but it is the method through which we connect with the Lord, becoming a partaker of His holiness and His character to fulfill God’s purpose in the earth (Heb. 12:2-3, 10).

The cross Christ bore was constructed to destroy Him as ours is to destroy us. But because we have been born of the Spirit of God, no weapon formed against us can overtake us. Instead, it will propel us into the glorious presence of the Lord! Jesus’ cross placed Him on the right hand of the Father with all power over heaven and earth in His hands. Likewise our cross brings us before the Lord as honored vessels, beneficiaries of His power.

Did I lose my job? No. God stirred up the owner’s mother (who is part owner of the center) on my behalf which resulted in my accuser recanting her charges or face being fired herself.

PERPETUAL LOVE

2005-02-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

Whenever my mind travels down memory lane to my marriage, the good times we shared with family and friends; ending abruptly with divorce, I counteract the depression that would follow by meditation on Romans 8:33-39.

When I married, I married for better or for worst, rich or poor until separated by death. I believed my ex-husband felt the same way also, but third party interference tore him away from me.

On this Valentine's Day I am void of a husband's love. But I am not void of the ultimate love, the love of God. His love is a love I can rest in because His love is perpetual. It is perpetual in that no third party can ever separate me from His love. No on can come to God and lay a charge against me or give a reason why He shouldn't love me. Nothing in this life, be it people or situation, nothing can tear HIS LOVE away from me.

BEAUTY FOR ASHES

2005-02-08T23:40:00.000-08:00

". . . . . to give unto them beauty for ashes,. . . " Isaiah 61:3

One year ago today (Feb. 9) my husband left me. I had come home from grocery shopping and had begun putting the food away when he announced, "I'm gone."
"Gone? Gone where?"
I turned aside from what I was doing and there he stood with packed suitcases, "I'm leaving," and walked out the door.

Shock, confusion, fear and anger hit me all at the same time. This must be some kind of joke, I thought, but in the days that followed I discovered it was not. Unemployed since April, I had no income or financial resources; all I had was my faith that some how God was going to bring me through. And "bring me through" is exactly what He did! Three weeks later I found employment.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning!" The night of agony and grief of separation and divorce has ended and the morning of joy have come. Truly the Lord has turned my "mourning into dancing." (Psalm 30 Key Verses, 5, 11)

JUBILEE!

2005-01-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

At age 49 (I’ll make 50 in April) I feel like the Biblical children of Israel preparing for the Year of Jubilee.

For the Christian, Jubilee (freedom from all debts) occurred when Jesus was received as Savior and Lord. But for many, self included, freedom isn’t readily experienced because we don’t realize that most of the things that have us in bondage are self-inflicted resulting from wrong choices.

It is only when we decide to really know Christ and allow His truth to take precedence in us can we experience true freedom (John 8:31, 32).

Truly I am living my best life now!

I AM THAT I AM

2004-12-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gone through a series of crisis that occurred simultaneous? And though you’ve come through it all with your sanity and faith intact, do you feel exhausted and all you want to do is crawl into the comforting arms of someone who will hold you with compassion and understanding until your soul is replenish?

That’s how I felt! Since February I had been bombarded with crisis upon crises in every major area of my life that left me feeling abandon and isolated from family and friends who couldn’t identify emotionally with what I was going through. No one could connect with me in my loss because they hadn’t been where I’d been.

“Lord,” I cried, “I need a hug from someone who can feel and understand what I’ve been through. I’m not looking for a new relationship or sexual intimacy, I just want somebody to hold me, to tell me they understand and know what I’m feeling! Isn’t there anyone for me who can give me the comfort I need?”

As I sat with my head in my arms sobbing, I heard in my mind, “I AM THAT I AM.” Over and over again the phrase was repeated, “I AM THAT I AM.” I wiped my eyes and turned to the passage of scripture in Exodus where God identified Himself to Moses through the Burning Bush as “I Am that I Am.” From there I followed the reference scriptures to John 8:58 where Jesus identified Himself to the Pharisees with the same title, and then to Revelation 1:4, 8 where Jesus identifies Himself as the one “who was, who is and who is to come” and “Alpha and Omega the beginning and the ending.”

“Yes Lord, I understand that you are self-existing; you are before all things, you know the beginning and ending of everything that exists, seen and unseen because everything that exists was created by you! But what does that have to do with me and my present needs?”

Tears began to roll down my cheeks as God began to speak to me with my own mouth.

“Anna, I am the God of your past, your present and your future. I was there when you was conceived in your mother’s womb. I was there throughout your growing up when you were rejected, humiliated and misused; I was there! I felt your pain when you was deserted and betrayed by those close to you. I know how you feel! Remember the multitude, even the 70 disciples who followed me only for the fishes and loaves? I know what it feels like to be abandon and betrayed. I was with you then, I am with you now and I will take you safely through to your future.”

“Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah Lord Jesus!” As I praised and worship God with tears of gratitude and thankfulness I felt the comfort of God surround me, hugging me. The weariness was gone, my soul was replenished. I was now able to enjoy life again.

A Sweet Smelling Fragrance

2004-12-10T04:49:00.000-08:00

The Friday after Thanksgiving I walked through my new apartment thanking God for bringing me through past and recent crisis. I thanked Him for getting me out of situations that are a part of life, as well as those I caused by making wrong choices.

I ended my prayer of Thanksgiving by presenting myself as a living sacrifice unto the Lord. I asked Him to forgive me of all my trespasses and to make me a sweet smelling fragrance unto Him. I further prayed, “If I am still Your choice for the work You’ve called me to do, please Lord, reaffirm your selection of me.”

I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. When I awoke an hour or so later the entire living room was filled with the fragrance of almonds. After the fragrance lifted I was compelled to look up all references in the Bible pertaining to almonds.

From the list of references I found, one stood out above the others. In Numbers, chapter 17, there’s a passage of scriptures that tell of God’s selection of Aaron to serve as His High Priest against the rejection of the people. Moses was instructed to take a rod (twig/branch) from the elder of each tribe; the person’s rod that blossomed would be the one He selected. Not only did Aaron’s rod blossom, it also bore almonds! Without question, Aaron was God’s choice.

And without question God has chosen me! Every word and dream He has given me will be established as long as I hold His revelation of Himself to me ABOVE refute of the religious few.

God desires for each of His children to know Him personally, one on one without a middleman. Each of us through the redemptive work of Christ can approach the throne of grace because we are members of the Royal Priesthood, lively stones, formed into God spiritual house He can inhabit (Hebrews 4:14-16; I Peter 2:9).

The five gifts of office mentioned in Ephesians 4:11 were placed by God to nurture each believer into developing a personal relationship with Christ AND NOT dependency on the gifts.