HOPE AGAIN

HOPE AGAIN

God has given me hope for my eldest daughter.  He reminded me of His call to each one of my four children.  And since He delivered my other three children from their destructive paths and set them in the right direction; He will do the same for my eldest child.

GRIEVED IN SPIRIT

“The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.”  -Genesis 6:6


For the first time in 33 years of being a mother I feel sorry, grieved that I ever gave birth to my eldest child.

I so much wanted to be a good mother to my four children that I took child development classes so I would know how to correctly nurture and care for them.  I also studied the scriptures to learn how to raise godly children and to be an example to them in following the Lord.  I even taught them from my mistakes so they wouldn’t have to make the same ones.

But my first born, my eldest child chose to listen to worldly friends and reject sound guidance from God’s Word.  She married a man with a long history of drug abuse, who has for the entire seven years of their marriage drugged up every penny she managed to save.  And now she is drugging with him and my six grandchildren are caught in the middle.

Though God grieved at man’s depravity, rebellion against all He wanted for him, He didn’t give up on him.  He provided a way of redemption that man might be reconciled back to Him.

It is this attribute of God that I seek after.  I pray for grace and strength not to give up on my daughter; to hope that she will be reconciled back to God, and for the safety and salvation of my grandchildren.

THANK YOU FOR GIVING TO THE LORD!

Tears flooded my eyes today during Morning Worship when the Worship Pastor sang the song by Ray Boltz, “Thank You for Giving to the Lord.”

As he sung, I was reminded of a dream I had years ago when I served as a Jail & Prison Chaplain. I was an invisible witness to a conversation between an ex-offender and Jesus. The ex-offender with joy and excitement in his eyes hastily ran to Jesus worshipping Him and thanking Him for sending Anna (me) to share the gospel with him.

As the pastor continued to sing tears trickled down my cheeks as my mind looked upon the face of Sis. Lucille Henry. She was the youth pastor’s wife of the church I attended when I was a teenager. During those years my life was full of turmoil. She listen to me, took me on outing with her family; she invested the love of Jesus in my life. It was her and others like her that gave unto the Lord in ministering to me. They are the inspiration God used to propel me to giving unto the Lord in making a difference in the life of the children He has placed around me.

There in the sanctuary I began to re-thank God for all the people He sent to impart Him into my life and for using me to do the same in the life of others.

“Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I’m a life that was changed;
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I’m so glad that you gave.”

“For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” Hebrews 6:10 NKJV

STILL GOT WORK TO DO!

My mother's death was so unexpected and unplanned that I began to feel like I could be, and might be next! So, I asked God if I was next to die. I laid down and had a wondrous dream.

I dreamed I was walking up some steep white steps with a group of people. The steps ended at a landing where a long narrow white table stood with a male behind it handing out report cards. The person's face was never shown, but I knew it was a male by his voice.

When individuals before me received their report card, they walked over to the left where there was an opening that led to a place that was baby blue in color with white clouds. Each person who received their report card walked into this open space.

When I reached the landing, I was handed my report card. My grades were not A status as I thought; the person behind the desk said, "It's not time for you to graduate, go back down." As I walked down the stairs with my report card I woke up. I understood the dream to mean I still have work to do.

I have also begun to put my house in order so that when it is my time to graduate, my affairs will be taken care of.

FORGIVEN TO FORGIVE

The proof that you have experienced God’s forgiveness is when you no longer struggle to forgive others.

My first marriage lasted 24 years. Within those years, whenever any crises occurred, my former husband would desert me and our children, leaving us to weather the storm alone. When things got better, he’d come back. After repeating this cycle several times (the last time being the straw that broke the camel’s back), I gave him the divorce he threaten me with, and refused him entrance back into my life.

This past Wednesday he was hospitalized for heart failure. As soon as I heard I began praying for his recovery; pleading with God to extend his life, giving him another chance to know Jesus as his personal Savior and Lord.

I feel nothing but compassion and mercy for him. And I know it is because of God’s mercy and compassion in His forgiveness toward me.

Dear Lord, I thank you for forgiving me of every one of my sins against you. May I forever transmit your love and forgiveness of me, toward everyone who has sinned against me. In Jesus’ name, Amen

THREE IN ONE

Sometimes I feel so alone; like I’m the only one left.

I, my mother, and her mother; we were a threesome. My faith in Jesus was nurtured by these two women.

Just before my grandmother died, she said her greatest desire was that my mom’s two brothers and sister would accept Christ. She also hoped that her grandchildren who rejected Christ would change their mind and accept Him.

After her passing it became I and my mother’s prayer that my two uncles and aunt and their children; my siblings (spouses) and their children would accept Jesus and develop a trusting faith in Him.

Now my mother is gone, and I stand alone among my family in continuing the prayer.

Before she passed, my son and middle daughter returned to the Lord; two of my seven brothers have become ministers (my eldest brother is a pastor); another brother has begun seeking the Lord; and one of my three sisters is active in church. One of my uncles is attending church, and some of his children are in church. My aunt and her children reject everything that involves church and one of her daughters is into Hinduism.

I received a phone call from one of my younger brothers. He called to tell me he was released from prison and is now in a halfway house. He said he’s given his life to the Lord and desire that I write and keep him in prayer.

I will continue in prayer.

LIFE GOES ON

It's been a little over a month since mom's passing. It still doesn't seem like she's gone until I pick up the phone to call and realize that I can't.

We use to talk to one another 2-3 times a week. Sharing our writing, recipes for one, our grown children, grandchildren, and for her--great-grandchildren. We also shared our faith in Jesus.

My missing her is not grief, its just loneliness for her conversation. I know she's in the presence of the Lord with grandma. Truly these two women have done for me what Timothy's mother and grandmother did for him (2 Timothy 1:5).

MOTHER'S DAY 2006

My mom died today, May 14, 2006 at 11:30pm. She has completed her walk on the water with Jesus; she is safe in His presence.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

On April 19, I celebrated another year of life. When I look over my history, I can truly say that despite the ups and downs of marriage, child rearing, divorce, illness, crisis, etc., I've lived thus far a very full life.

In every circumstance confronted with, Jesus was with me. Sometimes He walked alongside me and sometimes He carried me. Sometimes He stirred others to be His voice of comfort and hand of deliverance, and at other times He personally whispered words of peace, and lifted me from the pit.

Water walking with Jesus; its the only way to live a life of VICTORY!

LOVE

LOVE

As the eldest daughter among 11 siblings, sacrificing one’s desires for family was a way of life. By the time I reached adulthood, putting myself at the end of the line became to me as natural as breathing.

This past Valentine’s Day I did something I don’t ever recall doing. I took time out to express love for myself. I bought myself a yellow rose and a box of Valentine Chocolates that read “To Someone Special.”

I am someone special; special enough that Jesus left heaven, came to earth and sacrificed His life for me on Calvary’s Cross; so special I am to Him that He took His shed blood and washed all my sins away; giving me peace and everlasting life.

BLESS THE LORD O MY SOUL!

“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all HIS benefits:

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;
Who healeth all thy diseases;”

Today is the second day of my recovery from Acute Bronchitis. I didn’t know what was wrong with me this past Thursday. I was in so much pain I couldn’t drive myself home from work; I had to call my daughter to come pick me up. When I got to the clinic, I had a high fever, headache and chills.

“Acute Bronchitis” the doctor told me, an infection has settled on your bronchial tubes.” He then gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and follow up.

For those first two days I couldn’t do anything but lie in bed moaning, sip water and cough up phlegm. By the third day I could get out of bed, fix myself breakfast, lunch and dinner; check my email and put together my lesson plan for Monday. And today, Sunday, I am ever so grateful to God for my recovery. I’d never thought about the havoc one tiny germ entering the body can cause till now. What a great opening for a show and tell lesson to my preschoolers to reinforce personal hygiene.

FORGETTING and REACHING FORWARD

I have purpose in my heart since January 1st to forget a particular loss of last year and reach forward to the thing the Lord has ahead for me.

Since making this declaration, my mind seems to be wondering in the past more than ever.  But I’ve found that verbalizing my goal in my own ears (“forgetting those things that are behind”) causes my thoughts to shift in forward motion.

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; . . . “Isaiah 55:17

Even when I didn’t know a weapon was being formed against me, God did!  And, He didn’t allow the weapon to be successful; in fact, it backfired on the person who formed it.

How can I not serve such an awesome Lord who continues to have my best interest at heart?

HAPPY INCARNATION DAY LORD JESUS!

Dear Lord Jesus, I thank you for entering humanity as a babe; experiencing my life – from childhood to adult. YOU fulfilled YOUR requirement for holy righteousness and have accredited it unto me by my faith in what you did for me!

Though I seek to acknowledge YOU and live a life of worship that honors you daily; today, I just want to increase in my reverence to YOU.

I love you Lord, Anna

LORD, I AM READY TO GO WITH THEE, BOTH INTO PRISON, AND TO DEATH!

Like many of us today, Peter declared unshaken loyalty and devotion to Jesus; even “into prison, and to death!” (Luke 22:33)

He was sincere in his declaration! Peter really thought he could do it! He was so sure…….so sure that he didn’t heed Jesus’ insight of his weakness; that he would deny knowing Him three times before the rooster crowed (Luke 22:34). That was just the first warning to his weakness; the second warning came with an opportunity to overcome his weakness in the Garden of Gethsemane, when twice Jesus instructed him as well as the other disciples to pray that they enter not into temptation (Luke 22:40, 45-46).

Recently, following my own fervent prayer of pledged devotion to the Lord; He showed me an area of weakness in my life that I too was unaware of. Immediately the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance the above scriptures and without debate I began to pray, seeking the Lord’s resurrection power of victory in that area of my life.

After several days of consistent prayer, I know that by the Spirit of Jesus, I will be able to stand when confronted with the test.

Thank You Jesus

Thank You Jesus!

Since January of this year I have been without a car.  On my salary I could not afford a car note, so I asked God to bless me with a good running, paid for vehicle that I could handle the insurance and maintenance.

Well, Jesus always goes beyond what we ask or think.  Yesterday (Saturday), the Lord had delivered to my apartment, a good running economy car that was paid for (no cost to me) including plates, vehicle sticker and insurance paid six months in advance.  Hallelujah!  Glory to God!  Thank you Jesus!

Many times I was tempted to repeat the same mistake of the previous year; buy a $200 junk car from a friend that didn’t last three months after numerous repair costs and finally falling apart creating parking tickets before having it towed and junked.

No, this year I had determined in my heart to trust the Lord to honor my prayer needs for a car.  Each morning I would limp on painful, swollen, arthritic joints to the bus stop to get to work; and repeat the same ritual for eight blocks to the bus stop in route home from work.  I would fight back tears of pain and self-pity by praying and praising God for His mercy and grace toward me.  I also thanked Him for the car I knew in my heart He was preparing for me.

Thank You Lord Jesus for your many blessings to me!

AREN’T YOU GLAD GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCE?

As a nation we screwed up big time in the inefficient manner in which we cared for our own during the approach, hit and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

We proved we could learn from our wrong when Hurricane Rita appeared on the weather charts. Citizens lacking the means to evacuate on their own were transported by the government out of harm’s way with provision for food, water and other necessities.

Second Chances to right wrongs are not given just to nations, but to individuals too. As I viewed our government’s corrective measures in caring for its own during Hurricane Rita, I recognized corrective changes in my life in areas that I had before failed in.

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord.

This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me, you have become my salvation.”

-Psalm 118:17-21

LIFE IS A TRIP (AND A JOURNEY)

Life is a trip and a trip (journey)! And after 50 years of living, I’ve discovered that when I lived my life in response to Jesus’ love, patience, forgiveness, grace and mercy unto me, I could WALK ON WATER! In other words I could do the impossible.

The only guarantee in life comes when you give your life to Jesus; He will never leave you or forsake you.

There’s no guarantee that your spouse will never leave you; your children will honor and appreciate you; your family and friends will support you in your dreams and endeavors; and those who you reached out to help will return the favor when you need help.

But if you love and respect your spouse in response to Jesus’ love and respect for you; if you love, care and sacrifice for your children because of Jesus’ love, care and sacrifice for you; if you support your family and friends in their dreams and endeavors because you acknowledge Jesus as the giver and source of fulfillment of your dreams and endeavors; and if you reach out to help the stranger and those in need because when you were in need of salvation and deliverance Jesus met your need, and if no one in the above list said “I love you” or “thank you” or “God bless you” or even returned the favor, I guarantee you, JESUS WILL!

Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 27:10; Matthew 10:39; I John 3:16

A TUMULTUOUS WALK on the WATER with JESUS

It’s been a stormy walk on the water with Jesus these past two weeks. As a mother it’s hard for me not to look with grief at the tumultuous waves of contention and misunderstanding between me and my daughters and keep my focus on Christ. He has assured me that the waves will cease if I stop wrestling against the angry waves in my weakness and allow Him to speak peace to the situation.

So today I for the eighth time in two weeks placed my daughters and myself before the Lord to reconcile us; and allowed His peace to flood my mind and my soul.

GOD IS LIKE.........

Earlier this week I was feeling a little down so I decided to wear my T-shirt that has the poem “God is like” printed on the front to encourage me.

Later, seated on the bus in route home from work, a young man got up from his seat behind me and asked could he read my shirt.

After reading the last line of the poem he exclaimed, “Wow, I like that, I really like that!” He returned to his seat with such an expression of joyful peace that was so touching that I decided to post it.

GOD is like……..

God is like COKE… He’s the real thing.
God is like PAN AM… He makes the going great.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC… He lights your path.
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN… He works wonder.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS… He cares enough to send the very best.
God is like TIDE… He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like VO5 HAIR SPRAY… He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP… Aren’t you glad you know Him? Don’t you wish everyone did?
God is like SEARS… He has everything.
God is like ALKA SELTZER… Try Him, you’ll like Him.
God is like SCOTCH TAPE… You can’t see Him, but you know He’s there.