AS MUCH AS LIETH IN YOU. . . .

An incident occurred at work that reminded me of my eldest brother Oscar. His mild-mannered nature often made people think he was weak and cowardly, but that was far from the truth. He demonstrated a kind of power and strength that I never recognized until now.

Two other brothers, one older than I and the other younger, were pranksters. They loved making mischief, taking great pleasure in disrupting whatever we found enjoyable. The only one of my parents' eleven children they couldn't upset was Oscar. No matter what they did, hide his comics books (he always had a stash they didn't know about); mess with his 45rpm (45s and LPs that were valuable he kept hidden in a place no one ever found), etc., etc., they couldn't disturb his peace of mind.

I remember one evening when our parents were out, these two mischief makers decided to play a trick on Oscar by sprinkling sugar all over his dinner while he was upstairs getting a comic book to read while he ate. The two hid in the shadows of the living room smiling to each other waiting for the desired outcome of their plan. Oscar came downstairs, sat at the table with his comic book and said, "I know what y'all did to my food, but I'm going to eat it anyway!" and with a smile on his face he did. With their plan backfiring in their face, the two culprits angrily stomped upstairs to their bedroom.

When co-workers began to play similar pranks on me, I heard the words of Romans 12:18 - "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." As I meditated on its meaning and application to my situation, I remembered how Oscar handled our prankster brothers and followed his example.

When teaching tools and supplies important to my work, began to disappear I stopped leaving them in the classroom; I take them home with me each night. When access to shared materials were denied (phonic cards, CDs, CD Player etc.) me, I waited till after school and made personal copies for my own use and brought my own CD player. And when I discovered notes and progress reports to the parents were being removed from my students' cubbies (my shift ends before the children are picked up), I started coming to work early so I can greet the parents when they bring their children to school and hand deliver notes and progress reports.

To some this course of action may seem unnecessarily painstaking. It very well may be, but the results are worth it. My employer is at peace because she doesn’t have to waste valuable time trying to resolve petty issues between employees; I’m at peace because I’m able to do my job without interruption; and my mischief making coworkers have been stilled, at least for a season.

Return from Iraq

AN EXPERIENTIAL GOOD FRIDAY

As I read the scriptures surrounding Jesus’ trial before the religious leaders and Pilate, I began to have flash backs of recent false accusations made against me by a co-worker before my employer in an attempt to have me fired.Though my employer/owner like Pilate knew I wasn’t guilty of the charges, she was unable to administer justice on my behalf because she and my accuser had become bonded through gossip and unscrupulous activities.

On our journey to become one with Christ we must be willing to publicly endure the pain and humiliation of the cross in order to be recipients of His resurrection power of victory in our life (Phil. 3:10). The way of the cross will always look and feel like failure and shame; but it is the method through which we connect with the Lord, becoming a partaker of His holiness and His character to fulfill God’s purpose in the earth (Heb. 12:2-3, 10).

The cross Christ bore was constructed to destroy Him as ours is to destroy us. But because we have been born of the Spirit of God, no weapon formed against us can overtake us. Instead, it will propel us into the glorious presence of the Lord! Jesus’ cross placed Him on the right hand of the Father with all power over heaven and earth in His hands. Likewise our cross brings us before the Lord as honored vessels, beneficiaries of His power.

Did I lose my job? No. God stirred up the owner’s mother (who is part owner of the center) on my behalf which resulted in my accuser recanting her charges or face being fired herself.

PERPETUAL LOVE

Whenever my mind travels down memory lane to my marriage, the good times we shared with family and friends; ending abruptly with divorce, I counteract the depression that would follow by meditation on Romans 8:33-39.

When I married, I married for better or for worst, rich or poor until separated by death. I believed my ex-husband felt the same way also, but third party interference tore him away from me.

On this Valentine's Day I am void of a husband's love. But I am not void of the ultimate love, the love of God. His love is a love I can rest in because His love is perpetual. It is perpetual in that no third party can ever separate me from His love. No on can come to God and lay a charge against me or give a reason why He shouldn't love me. Nothing in this life, be it people or situation, nothing can tear HIS LOVE away from me.

BEAUTY FOR ASHES

". . . . . to give unto them beauty for ashes,. . . " Isaiah 61:3

One year ago today (Feb. 9) my husband left me. I had come home from grocery shopping and had begun putting the food away when he announced, "I'm gone."
"Gone? Gone where?"
I turned aside from what I was doing and there he stood with packed suitcases, "I'm leaving," and walked out the door.

Shock, confusion, fear and anger hit me all at the same time. This must be some kind of joke, I thought, but in the days that followed I discovered it was not. Unemployed since April, I had no income or financial resources; all I had was my faith that some how God was going to bring me through. And "bring me through" is exactly what He did! Three weeks later I found employment.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning!" The night of agony and grief of separation and divorce has ended and the morning of joy have come. Truly the Lord has turned my "mourning into dancing." (Psalm 30 Key Verses, 5, 11)

JUBILEE!

At age 49 (I’ll make 50 in April) I feel like the Biblical children of Israel preparing for the Year of Jubilee.

For the Christian, Jubilee (freedom from all debts) occurred when Jesus was received as Savior and Lord. But for many, self included, freedom isn’t readily experienced because we don’t realize that most of the things that have us in bondage are self-inflicted resulting from wrong choices.

It is only when we decide to really know Christ and allow His truth to take precedence in us can we experience true freedom (John 8:31, 32).

Truly I am living my best life now!

I AM THAT I AM

Have you ever gone through a series of crisis that occurred simultaneous? And though you’ve come through it all with your sanity and faith intact, do you feel exhausted and all you want to do is crawl into the comforting arms of someone who will hold you with compassion and understanding until your soul is replenish?

That’s how I felt! Since February I had been bombarded with crisis upon crises in every major area of my life that left me feeling abandon and isolated from family and friends who couldn’t identify emotionally with what I was going through. No one could connect with me in my loss because they hadn’t been where I’d been.

“Lord,” I cried, “I need a hug from someone who can feel and understand what I’ve been through. I’m not looking for a new relationship or sexual intimacy, I just want somebody to hold me, to tell me they understand and know what I’m feeling! Isn’t there anyone for me who can give me the comfort I need?”

As I sat with my head in my arms sobbing, I heard in my mind, “I AM THAT I AM.” Over and over again the phrase was repeated, “I AM THAT I AM.” I wiped my eyes and turned to the passage of scripture in Exodus where God identified Himself to Moses through the Burning Bush as “I Am that I Am.” From there I followed the reference scriptures to John 8:58 where Jesus identified Himself to the Pharisees with the same title, and then to Revelation 1:4, 8 where Jesus identifies Himself as the one “who was, who is and who is to come” and “Alpha and Omega the beginning and the ending.”

“Yes Lord, I understand that you are self-existing; you are before all things, you know the beginning and ending of everything that exists, seen and unseen because everything that exists was created by you! But what does that have to do with me and my present needs?”

Tears began to roll down my cheeks as God began to speak to me with my own mouth.

“Anna, I am the God of your past, your present and your future. I was there when you was conceived in your mother’s womb. I was there throughout your growing up when you were rejected, humiliated and misused; I was there! I felt your pain when you was deserted and betrayed by those close to you. I know how you feel! Remember the multitude, even the 70 disciples who followed me only for the fishes and loaves? I know what it feels like to be abandon and betrayed. I was with you then, I am with you now and I will take you safely through to your future.”

“Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah Lord Jesus!” As I praised and worship God with tears of gratitude and thankfulness I felt the comfort of God surround me, hugging me. The weariness was gone, my soul was replenished. I was now able to enjoy life again.

A Sweet Smelling Fragrance

The Friday after Thanksgiving I walked through my new apartment thanking God for bringing me through past and recent crisis. I thanked Him for getting me out of situations that are a part of life, as well as those I caused by making wrong choices.

I ended my prayer of Thanksgiving by presenting myself as a living sacrifice unto the Lord. I asked Him to forgive me of all my trespasses and to make me a sweet smelling fragrance unto Him. I further prayed, “If I am still Your choice for the work You’ve called me to do, please Lord, reaffirm your selection of me.”

I laid down on the couch and fell asleep. When I awoke an hour or so later the entire living room was filled with the fragrance of almonds. After the fragrance lifted I was compelled to look up all references in the Bible pertaining to almonds.

From the list of references I found, one stood out above the others. In Numbers, chapter 17, there’s a passage of scriptures that tell of God’s selection of Aaron to serve as His High Priest against the rejection of the people. Moses was instructed to take a rod (twig/branch) from the elder of each tribe; the person’s rod that blossomed would be the one He selected. Not only did Aaron’s rod blossom, it also bore almonds! Without question, Aaron was God’s choice.

And without question God has chosen me! Every word and dream He has given me will be established as long as I hold His revelation of Himself to me ABOVE refute of the religious few.

God desires for each of His children to know Him personally, one on one without a middleman. Each of us through the redemptive work of Christ can approach the throne of grace because we are members of the Royal Priesthood, lively stones, formed into God spiritual house He can inhabit (Hebrews 4:14-16; I Peter 2:9).

The five gifts of office mentioned in Ephesians 4:11 were placed by God to nurture each believer into developing a personal relationship with Christ AND NOT dependency on the gifts.