STILL GOT WORK TO DO!

My mother's death was so unexpected and unplanned that I began to feel like I could be, and might be next! So, I asked God if I was next to die. I laid down and had a wondrous dream.

I dreamed I was walking up some steep white steps with a group of people. The steps ended at a landing where a long narrow white table stood with a male behind it handing out report cards. The person's face was never shown, but I knew it was a male by his voice.

When individuals before me received their report card, they walked over to the left where there was an opening that led to a place that was baby blue in color with white clouds. Each person who received their report card walked into this open space.

When I reached the landing, I was handed my report card. My grades were not A status as I thought; the person behind the desk said, "It's not time for you to graduate, go back down." As I walked down the stairs with my report card I woke up. I understood the dream to mean I still have work to do.

I have also begun to put my house in order so that when it is my time to graduate, my affairs will be taken care of.

FORGIVEN TO FORGIVE

The proof that you have experienced God’s forgiveness is when you no longer struggle to forgive others.

My first marriage lasted 24 years. Within those years, whenever any crises occurred, my former husband would desert me and our children, leaving us to weather the storm alone. When things got better, he’d come back. After repeating this cycle several times (the last time being the straw that broke the camel’s back), I gave him the divorce he threaten me with, and refused him entrance back into my life.

This past Wednesday he was hospitalized for heart failure. As soon as I heard I began praying for his recovery; pleading with God to extend his life, giving him another chance to know Jesus as his personal Savior and Lord.

I feel nothing but compassion and mercy for him. And I know it is because of God’s mercy and compassion in His forgiveness toward me.

Dear Lord, I thank you for forgiving me of every one of my sins against you. May I forever transmit your love and forgiveness of me, toward everyone who has sinned against me. In Jesus’ name, Amen

THREE IN ONE

Sometimes I feel so alone; like I’m the only one left.

I, my mother, and her mother; we were a threesome. My faith in Jesus was nurtured by these two women.

Just before my grandmother died, she said her greatest desire was that my mom’s two brothers and sister would accept Christ. She also hoped that her grandchildren who rejected Christ would change their mind and accept Him.

After her passing it became I and my mother’s prayer that my two uncles and aunt and their children; my siblings (spouses) and their children would accept Jesus and develop a trusting faith in Him.

Now my mother is gone, and I stand alone among my family in continuing the prayer.

Before she passed, my son and middle daughter returned to the Lord; two of my seven brothers have become ministers (my eldest brother is a pastor); another brother has begun seeking the Lord; and one of my three sisters is active in church. One of my uncles is attending church, and some of his children are in church. My aunt and her children reject everything that involves church and one of her daughters is into Hinduism.

I received a phone call from one of my younger brothers. He called to tell me he was released from prison and is now in a halfway house. He said he’s given his life to the Lord and desire that I write and keep him in prayer.

I will continue in prayer.

LIFE GOES ON

It's been a little over a month since mom's passing. It still doesn't seem like she's gone until I pick up the phone to call and realize that I can't.

We use to talk to one another 2-3 times a week. Sharing our writing, recipes for one, our grown children, grandchildren, and for her--great-grandchildren. We also shared our faith in Jesus.

My missing her is not grief, its just loneliness for her conversation. I know she's in the presence of the Lord with grandma. Truly these two women have done for me what Timothy's mother and grandmother did for him (2 Timothy 1:5).

MOTHER'S DAY 2006

My mom died today, May 14, 2006 at 11:30pm. She has completed her walk on the water with Jesus; she is safe in His presence.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

On April 19, I celebrated another year of life. When I look over my history, I can truly say that despite the ups and downs of marriage, child rearing, divorce, illness, crisis, etc., I've lived thus far a very full life.

In every circumstance confronted with, Jesus was with me. Sometimes He walked alongside me and sometimes He carried me. Sometimes He stirred others to be His voice of comfort and hand of deliverance, and at other times He personally whispered words of peace, and lifted me from the pit.

Water walking with Jesus; its the only way to live a life of VICTORY!

LOVE

LOVE

As the eldest daughter among 11 siblings, sacrificing one’s desires for family was a way of life. By the time I reached adulthood, putting myself at the end of the line became to me as natural as breathing.

This past Valentine’s Day I did something I don’t ever recall doing. I took time out to express love for myself. I bought myself a yellow rose and a box of Valentine Chocolates that read “To Someone Special.”

I am someone special; special enough that Jesus left heaven, came to earth and sacrificed His life for me on Calvary’s Cross; so special I am to Him that He took His shed blood and washed all my sins away; giving me peace and everlasting life.

BLESS THE LORD O MY SOUL!

“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all HIS benefits:

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities;
Who healeth all thy diseases;”

Today is the second day of my recovery from Acute Bronchitis. I didn’t know what was wrong with me this past Thursday. I was in so much pain I couldn’t drive myself home from work; I had to call my daughter to come pick me up. When I got to the clinic, I had a high fever, headache and chills.

“Acute Bronchitis” the doctor told me, an infection has settled on your bronchial tubes.” He then gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and follow up.

For those first two days I couldn’t do anything but lie in bed moaning, sip water and cough up phlegm. By the third day I could get out of bed, fix myself breakfast, lunch and dinner; check my email and put together my lesson plan for Monday. And today, Sunday, I am ever so grateful to God for my recovery. I’d never thought about the havoc one tiny germ entering the body can cause till now. What a great opening for a show and tell lesson to my preschoolers to reinforce personal hygiene.

FORGETTING and REACHING FORWARD

I have purpose in my heart since January 1st to forget a particular loss of last year and reach forward to the thing the Lord has ahead for me.

Since making this declaration, my mind seems to be wondering in the past more than ever.  But I’ve found that verbalizing my goal in my own ears (“forgetting those things that are behind”) causes my thoughts to shift in forward motion.

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; . . . “Isaiah 55:17

Even when I didn’t know a weapon was being formed against me, God did!  And, He didn’t allow the weapon to be successful; in fact, it backfired on the person who formed it.

How can I not serve such an awesome Lord who continues to have my best interest at heart?

HAPPY INCARNATION DAY LORD JESUS!

Dear Lord Jesus, I thank you for entering humanity as a babe; experiencing my life – from childhood to adult. YOU fulfilled YOUR requirement for holy righteousness and have accredited it unto me by my faith in what you did for me!

Though I seek to acknowledge YOU and live a life of worship that honors you daily; today, I just want to increase in my reverence to YOU.

I love you Lord, Anna

LORD, I AM READY TO GO WITH THEE, BOTH INTO PRISON, AND TO DEATH!

Like many of us today, Peter declared unshaken loyalty and devotion to Jesus; even “into prison, and to death!” (Luke 22:33)

He was sincere in his declaration! Peter really thought he could do it! He was so sure…….so sure that he didn’t heed Jesus’ insight of his weakness; that he would deny knowing Him three times before the rooster crowed (Luke 22:34). That was just the first warning to his weakness; the second warning came with an opportunity to overcome his weakness in the Garden of Gethsemane, when twice Jesus instructed him as well as the other disciples to pray that they enter not into temptation (Luke 22:40, 45-46).

Recently, following my own fervent prayer of pledged devotion to the Lord; He showed me an area of weakness in my life that I too was unaware of. Immediately the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance the above scriptures and without debate I began to pray, seeking the Lord’s resurrection power of victory in that area of my life.

After several days of consistent prayer, I know that by the Spirit of Jesus, I will be able to stand when confronted with the test.

Thank You Jesus

Thank You Jesus!

Since January of this year I have been without a car.  On my salary I could not afford a car note, so I asked God to bless me with a good running, paid for vehicle that I could handle the insurance and maintenance.

Well, Jesus always goes beyond what we ask or think.  Yesterday (Saturday), the Lord had delivered to my apartment, a good running economy car that was paid for (no cost to me) including plates, vehicle sticker and insurance paid six months in advance.  Hallelujah!  Glory to God!  Thank you Jesus!

Many times I was tempted to repeat the same mistake of the previous year; buy a $200 junk car from a friend that didn’t last three months after numerous repair costs and finally falling apart creating parking tickets before having it towed and junked.

No, this year I had determined in my heart to trust the Lord to honor my prayer needs for a car.  Each morning I would limp on painful, swollen, arthritic joints to the bus stop to get to work; and repeat the same ritual for eight blocks to the bus stop in route home from work.  I would fight back tears of pain and self-pity by praying and praising God for His mercy and grace toward me.  I also thanked Him for the car I knew in my heart He was preparing for me.

Thank You Lord Jesus for your many blessings to me!

AREN’T YOU GLAD GOD IS A GOD OF SECOND CHANCE?

As a nation we screwed up big time in the inefficient manner in which we cared for our own during the approach, hit and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

We proved we could learn from our wrong when Hurricane Rita appeared on the weather charts. Citizens lacking the means to evacuate on their own were transported by the government out of harm’s way with provision for food, water and other necessities.

Second Chances to right wrongs are not given just to nations, but to individuals too. As I viewed our government’s corrective measures in caring for its own during Hurricane Rita, I recognized corrective changes in my life in areas that I had before failed in.

“I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the Lord.

This is the gate of the Lord through which the righteous may enter.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me, you have become my salvation.”

-Psalm 118:17-21

LIFE IS A TRIP (AND A JOURNEY)

Life is a trip and a trip (journey)! And after 50 years of living, I’ve discovered that when I lived my life in response to Jesus’ love, patience, forgiveness, grace and mercy unto me, I could WALK ON WATER! In other words I could do the impossible.

The only guarantee in life comes when you give your life to Jesus; He will never leave you or forsake you.

There’s no guarantee that your spouse will never leave you; your children will honor and appreciate you; your family and friends will support you in your dreams and endeavors; and those who you reached out to help will return the favor when you need help.

But if you love and respect your spouse in response to Jesus’ love and respect for you; if you love, care and sacrifice for your children because of Jesus’ love, care and sacrifice for you; if you support your family and friends in their dreams and endeavors because you acknowledge Jesus as the giver and source of fulfillment of your dreams and endeavors; and if you reach out to help the stranger and those in need because when you were in need of salvation and deliverance Jesus met your need, and if no one in the above list said “I love you” or “thank you” or “God bless you” or even returned the favor, I guarantee you, JESUS WILL!

Hebrews 13:5; Psalm 27:10; Matthew 10:39; I John 3:16

A TUMULTUOUS WALK on the WATER with JESUS

It’s been a stormy walk on the water with Jesus these past two weeks. As a mother it’s hard for me not to look with grief at the tumultuous waves of contention and misunderstanding between me and my daughters and keep my focus on Christ. He has assured me that the waves will cease if I stop wrestling against the angry waves in my weakness and allow Him to speak peace to the situation.

So today I for the eighth time in two weeks placed my daughters and myself before the Lord to reconcile us; and allowed His peace to flood my mind and my soul.

GOD IS LIKE.........

Earlier this week I was feeling a little down so I decided to wear my T-shirt that has the poem “God is like” printed on the front to encourage me.

Later, seated on the bus in route home from work, a young man got up from his seat behind me and asked could he read my shirt.

After reading the last line of the poem he exclaimed, “Wow, I like that, I really like that!” He returned to his seat with such an expression of joyful peace that was so touching that I decided to post it.

GOD is like……..

God is like COKE… He’s the real thing.
God is like PAN AM… He makes the going great.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC… He lights your path.
God is like BAYER ASPIRIN… He works wonder.
God is like HALLMARK CARDS… He cares enough to send the very best.
God is like TIDE… He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like VO5 HAIR SPRAY… He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP… Aren’t you glad you know Him? Don’t you wish everyone did?
God is like SEARS… He has everything.
God is like ALKA SELTZER… Try Him, you’ll like Him.
God is like SCOTCH TAPE… You can’t see Him, but you know He’s there.

A FATHER'S LOVE

Today, Father’s Day, I’m reminded of my father who passed away 29 years ago.

The first time he ever said, “I love you” was on his deathbed. I imagined it took a lot of courage for him to say those three powerful words to me.

My father died of alcoholism resulting from his failure to follow his heart. He allowed himself to be forced into choices that were beneficial to the ones doing the forcing, but not to him or to my mother. His giving in resulted in guilt, anger and frustration; he sought relief through drinking, which only open the door to additional problems.

I spent most of my growing up being fearful of my father because the majority of the time I saw him he was in a drunken rage. But there were times when I suspected that he really did love me.
One time in particular, I was 13, he promised to buy me an electric organ for Christmas. Because of his drinking, my dad was often in and out of work. It took my mother’s meager wages to keep us from being homeless and there seemed to never be any monies for Christmas presents. One of my older brothers would work odd jobs just so presents could be put under the tree for our younger siblings.

One day, my girlfriend came over with a Christmas toy catalog bragging about the table top organ her parents were getting her for Christmas. “What are you getting Ann?” she asked. “Oh nothing,” I replied “Christmas is about Jesus’ Birthday not mine.” That was my way of dealing with the truth that there was never any money for Christmas presents for us older children. After she left, my father with anger in his voice said, “Do you want an organ for Christmas?” I hesitated, not wanting to upset him, “Yes sir” “Well this year nobody is getting a Christmas Present but Ann. Big Eyes (his nickname for me) you are going to get your organ!”

I was ecstatic! Not only was I getting a Christmas present this year, but was getting an organ. "Now I can learn to play just like momma (My mother played the piano)!" I couldn’t wait to tell my girlfriend that I was going to get an organ too. As Christmas approached I became worried that maybe my father wouldn’t be able to keep his promise. And sure enough Christmas came and there was no organ. How could I face my friends? How could I explain that I didn’t get my organ? I imagined them laughing at me and calling me a liar. “She didn’t get anything for Christmas!” I heard the voices say in my head.

During the entire holiday break I avoided my friends, and then a few days before school resumed, my dad came home with a huge box under his arms. “Here Big Eyes” he said, “I told you, you would get your organ!” My dad didn’t get me the table top organ my girlfriend got; he bought me an organ that stood on its own legs with a matching bench and 2 song books.

I don’t know how he was able to grant my Christmas wish since he was out of work that year. He had to pass up many of bottles of Jim Bean and Old Grand Dad to pull off such a feat, and I know he couldn’t have done it if he didn’t love me.

Though I no longer have my organ, I do still have the books that came with it. And when ever I look at its cover I see my little organ standing next to my mom’s piano and I remember the joy in my father’s eyes as he presented me with my present.

Most children blame their parents for them turning out all screwed up because they didn’t fulfill their ideal of what their parents should have been, but not me. I believe that the father God blessed me with help make me a better person. His life served as a guide for me to correct his mistakes by not repeating them in my life. And when I look at my children I see that they have corrected my mistakes by not repeating them in their life.

I thank God for my Dad, he was a one of kind father; the kind that God knew I needed.

MEMORIAL DAY REFLECTIONS

I never really thought much about Memorial Day’s meaning until now. From my childhood up it was just another day off from school and another day off from work; and a day for family and friends to come together for a backyard barbeque.

But since my son’s active participation in the Iraqi war, Memorial Day is no longer a day of social pleasure. It’s a day of solemn reflection of thanks and gratitude to God for allowing my son to return from the war sane and in one peace. And not just my son, but a cousin who served in Viet Nam; an uncle who returned from the Korean War, and my father who made it home just before the outbreak of war in Korea. My thoughts then traveled to the countless men and women who have lost their lives in war to preserve the freedom we enjoy as Americans and secure freedom for countries less fortunate then us.

Despite all of America’s ills and inconsistencies, we are still a blessed nation. And to those of us who put our faith and our focus on the Lord above that of politicians and government leaders, we are extremely blessed.

TO GOD IS THE GLORY FOR THE THINGS HE HAS DONE!

A MOTHER'S DAY THOUGHT

My favorite Mothers’ Day scripture is found in Isaiah 49:15-16. Here the Lord personifies His love for His people as a nursing mother.

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands;" (KJV)

What an awesome expression of love. In its context, Israel is in captivity to her enemies as a result of her disobedience to God. And though she feels abandon and forgotten, God uses the prophet Isaiah to express His continued love and care for His people.

We often see God’s love expressed in scripture as that of a father or husband, but here we see a description of His love that is synonymous to mothers. It has been said that when it comes to parents dealing with difficult children, a mother’s love and patience far exceeds that of the father. Yet there comes a time when even mothers become exhausted and give up. But God, in this passage of scripture has committed Himself to the faithful rearing, nurture and care of His people despite their inconsistencies and shortcomings. Though He chasten, He still loves.

It’s comforting to know that when life seems to be crashing in all around us; be it chastisement for sin, or suffering as a servant of Christ, we can crawl into the arms of a loving Father. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus. Nothing and no one can separate us, or pluck us out of His hands. We are permanently and perpetually secure in His faithfulness to us.

Many times in the midst of failure, disobedience and distress, I’ve crawled into the arms of the Father via sincere and humble prayer. It is here that I experience His comforting and forgiving presence; the sweet smelling fragrance of His breath drying the tears from my eyes, reassuring me with memories of His past faithfulness with the promise of continued faithfulness of His love and care for me today and forever more.