End Of The Year Blessings

The later half of this year has been-------I don't even know how to describe it!  It been exhilarating. It's been full.

It all began in the month of July.  My granddaughter who has lived with me for the past 4 years moved to New York to live with her mother and siblings; and I moved to a smaller apartment. 

In October I was asked by one of the teens at the church I formerly attended, to represent him at the Boy Scouts' Board of Review.  I was so honored and humbled at his request. 

On January 3rd he will be acknowledged for achieving the highest rank in scouting: Eagle Scout.
Thus completing his tenure in boy scouting.


On November 3rd I began a new job.  I wasn't looking for a new job, it came looking for me! After spending considerable time in prayer, I accepted the offer.

The later half of this year's journey also brought a bittersweet experience.  My former husband was diagnosed October 22 with a rare type of Leukemia.  He passed away on December 9. On November 14 we were reconciled.  I and our youngest daughter was at his side when he transitioned from time into eternity.

I don't know what the new year will bring but, I am confident that I won't go it alone.  For He who said,  "I will never leave you nor forsake you" is always with me.

The Journey

This past April I celebrated my 59th birthday----"It's been a long journey."

Twenty-five years ago I had a dream in which I was in a race against a red Ferrari.  I couldn't see who was driving and it didn't seem important.  Here I stood on the starting line next to the car.  As the starter shouted "Go!"  the red Ferrari took off leaving me behind.  After a while I caught up with it.  In the middle of the trail was a mountain.  The Ferrari was at the base, gunning its engine in an attempt to drive up the mountain.  I now took the lead in the race as I climbed the mountain and continued on the trail.  Having run a great distance I looked behind me and could see that the Ferrari was still stuck at the base of the mountain.  I looked forward and continued on my run.  Before me in the far distance I could see what appeared to be the Kingdom of God.

Seven months ago I returned to this dream.  I saw a glimpse of the Heavenly city before me more visible than it was 25 years ago.  I looked behind me but could no longer see the starting line.  The Ferrari was no where in sight.  Was it still at the base of the mountain?  Did it pass me by?  I'm covered in sweat, I'm tired, and exhausted.  I dropped to my hands and knees. Waking up, I pondered the meaning of the dream.

At the time of my return to this dream I had been battling weariness.  Just tired of life; not suicidal, just tired.  For a long time I struggled between longing to go home to the Father, and crying out for strength to continue to the end.

Today, praise the Lord, I have been refreshed and recharged!  I had become weary because I had taken my eyes off the Lord and began looking at my circumstances and at people.

With my eyes re-focused on the Lord, I have resumed my walk on the water with Jesus!

Remembering Moma & Grandma

"When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also." I Timothy 1:5

Whenever I read the above verse regarding Timothy's mother and grandmother I think of my mother and her mother, Grandma Nannie.  My faith in the Lord was birth out of the faith I seen exhibited in these two women.  I don't recall my mother or grandmother ever teaching us the scriptures, but I do remember seeing them live out the scriptures.

Grandma & Me (celebrating my 7th birthday)

I remember one Mother's Day my siblings and I had bought gifts for mom and grandma.  Before grandma would accept our gift she asked if we bought our paternal grandmother a gift too.  We explained that we did not buy her a gift because we didn't believe she cared about us.  Whenever she came to see us, which was rare, she'd spend the whole time taking about her other son's children; how wonderful they were, and the things she bought them.  She never bought us anything and she never had anything nice to say about our mother. Grandma Nannie would make us keep her gift until we bought a gift for our other grandmother.  Of course our gifts were always rejected and given away.  But we continued to show her the same honor we did Grandma Nannie.  And then it happen, after the birth of my 4th child, this grandmother who always dissed us, had a change of heart.  She began writing me letters, and sending me vegetable and flower seeds to grow in my garden.  When she came for a visit she asked to see my children and meet my husband.  The seed of love that Grandma Nannie taught us to sow in our other grandmother's life had taken root and now she was able to love us back.

This lesson I learned from grandma of loving and blessing those who do not love me has been applied many times to the difficult people I've met during the course of my life.  Is this not the kind of love Jesus commanded His followers to have for those who hated them?

Cordelia Ann Webster (mom)

During times of lack my mother would go to the piano and worship God in song.  As a child I would slip into the living room and sit quietly on the floor, at the foot of the piano bench, and watch my mother pour her heart out to the Lord.  "Wonderful Grace of Jesus, greater than all my sins.  How shall my tongue describe it, where shall its praise begin.  Taking away my burden, setting my spirit free------for the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me!"  I still remember the verse and chorus of that old hymn and others I learned while listening to my mother's songs of praise unto the Lord.

When I grew up and experienced hardships and other difficult situations, I'd steal away to a quiet place and worship the Lord in song and praise.  I discovered what my mother had learned; peace in the middle of life's storms can be realized when we direct our attention to the Lord.  Not only does the Lord grant us peace in the middle of the storm, He also makes a way in, through, and out of the storm.

I learned to call on the name of the Lord and to trust His word through the example of my mother and grandmother.  I pray that my children and grandchildren will learn the same from me.

The Day After

Yesterday, (April 19) I experienced another birthday.......59 years.  It's been a long journey to where I am today.  Sometimes I wonder "how did I get here?"  In many ways I've changed.......I'm not the same person and in some ways I am.

I am grateful to God to have seen this day.  It's been 20 years since the doctor said he couldn't promise I'd live to see my 40th birthday.  I pray everyday that my life would be a song of praise, a sweet smelling fragrance unto the Lord.

Chicago!

The first day of spring, will arrive in Chicago at 11:00 am central standard time.  Four hours before its arrival winter gave us a farewell snow shower that lasted about an hour.  I enjoy living in this part of the country.  We experience a variety of weather that doesn't always come in its correct season.  I recall in April of '74, instead of April Showers we had snow!  I remember it well because my husband along with other employees were stranded in Niles, IL because of snow storm.

Storm Vulcan

I enjoy every season, especially the unexpected display of nature, the expression of our Awesome Creator.  I've been so consumed with work that although I haven't been posting on a regular basis, I have been snapping pictures.

Valentine's Day 2014/Sunrise

This photo doesn't capture the beauty of the icicle seen with the naked eye.  This picture was taken from the inside of my living room window.  With my eyes I could see the colors of the sky reflected in the icicles.

Spending Time With The Father

I miss having access to the church sanctuary to meet with the Lord.  I know God is everywhere and any place I pause to worship becomes a sanctuary.   But there is something special about meeting God in a place that has been specifically set aside for intimate and private fellowship with the Lord.

Precious were those times when early in the morning before the staff arrived, or in the evening after everyone had left; I would go into the sanctuary and lay on the altar in quiet communion with the Lord.  Sometimes I'd pray, and sometimes I'd just lay quiet, listening for His voice.  I felt a connection with the patriarchs Abraham, Issac and Jacob when I lay their awaiting His arrival.  

Around 1:30 am, the day after Thanksgiving I awoke from my after dinner-guest gone home nap and began the task of cleaning up the kitchen.  As I washed dishes and scrubbed pots and pans I started worshiping the Lord in song and praise.  And then as it had happened many times before when I laid on the altar, the presence of the Lord came into my kitchen and ministered to me.  Even at work, in the privacy of my office I'm blessed with His intimate presence as I kneel in prayer seeking His guidance and  blessings in meeting the demands of my job.

Truly God has accepted my kitchen and office as a sanctuary for communing with Him.

VOICES

Since the mid 1980s I've been hearing in my ear the following:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; I ordained you a prophet to (my church).  For you shall go to all to whom I send you.  And whatever I command you, you shall speak.

Do not be afraid of their faces,  For I am with you to deliver you."  "Do not be afraid of their faces lest I confound thee before them.  I have made you this day a defensed city and an iron pillar, and brazen walls against the whole land.  They shall fight against you but they will not prevail against you; for I am with you to deliver you."

"See, this day I have set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destroy and to throw down, to build and to plant."  

Are you speaking to me Lord?  I'm just a woman, a nobody.  No one will listen to me!

"I have made you a watchman over (my church) hear the word from my mouth, and give them warning from me.  Like adamant stone, harder than flint, I have made your forehead; do not be afraid of them, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they are a rebellious house."

"Clean the rubble off my foundation and BUILD MY HOUSE!"
Who am I Lord?  Are you really calling me to serve you as you did the prophets of old?  No one will believe me.  The last pastor you sent me to sent out emails implying that I was delusional------------gifted, but delusional.  

"A voice crying out in the wilderness, 'Make a straight path to the Lord!'"
If John the Baptist was here today he wouldn't be welcomed in any of our churches.  
Three times I've been asked to leave and just recently I was secretly voted out the church without the congregation's knowledge---"religious" leaders fear me, lay people hear me and seek God.

This morning as I thought about these things in prayer I heard the following phrase from a song-------
"God has spoken, let the church say, Amen"

A Day with JaNice

I spent yesterday afternoon with my middle daughter, JaNice. She took me up north (North-side Chicago) with her to run some errands. I regret not bringing my camera----there was so much to see. I hadn't visit this part of the city in years.  

We went to a place called "Reckless Records" to pick up some CDs she had reserved.  I didn't know there was any place that still sold records.  It was fun looking through the selection of LPs seeing titles and artists from my teen years. The store even sold 45s, cassettes, and 8-track tapes! From the DVD section we purchased 4 old favorites.

JaNice (doesn't like being photograph)

From there we visited neighborhood bookstores, and took in the sights of a very diverse community lined with outdoor cafes and various ethnic restaurants.  At one of the bookstores I found a copy of Mary Higgins Clark Mystery novel, "Stillwatch." Stillwatch was the first book I read by Clark.  I've been reading her books ever since.   Of all of her mystery novels that I've read, Stillwatch is still my favorite.  

The lakefront was bursting with life! The beach was filled with people grilling, jogging, bike riding, and just stretching out on lounge chairs enjoying the view.  Chicago has such a beautiful skyline. That and the sailboats made Lake Michigan a picture perfect postcard scene.

A Still Small Voice

When experiencing unforeseen circumstances in life and/or ministry we often seek advice from our pastor or close friends. We strain to hear God’s voice of direction through a sermon, or a song. We’ll pull out our Topical Bible looking for passages that mirror our situation to explain or make sense out of what we’re going through. And many times God will speak to us through others and through specific examples from the Bible.  But there are also times when God will speak through the still quiet moments of a seemingly mundane task.

One of the easiest to grow houseplants for me is the philodendra. I like the fact that it can be grown in water or potting soil, and it produces lush green cascading vines. I had notice that for some time one of my plants appeared to be dying. One by one its long lush vines withered, turning yellow and then brown before falling off the main branch. Yet there was new growth shooting up near the base of the plant. In an attempt to save the last of its dying vines I clipped it and placed it in a separate container of water with a few drops of plant food. The next morning, the clipped vine had made a miraculous recovery! The leaves were no longer drooping, they were pointing upward and the green color had returned to its stem. It was here, in this unexpected moment of serene amazement that God spoke peace to the bewildering situation I was going through. 

There are seasons of growth when it becomes necessary for God to "clip" us, setting us apart from the group in order to prepare us to bear more fruit, either in a different position or in a new location for His purposes. If we cling to where God desires to remove us from, like my vine, we will wither and become unproductive.

It's Not Over........It's Only the Beginning

Since June I've been in a battle that I thought had come to an end.  But as of today, the battle still rages.  I heard a song by Israel Houghton this past week that encouraged me greatly. 

When God is ready to do a new thing in His children, He often uses persecution to move them from their places of comfort to grow them, to bring them into a greater level of ministry.  In the US as it was in Jesus' day, very little persecution comes from the spiritually lost; it comes from the people we hold dear to our hearts------the place where we live, and worship. 

Whewwwww...........................

Can you believe it?!  The New Year is almost half over.  For almost two years I've been writing a weekly column for a community newspaper, which is one of the reasons why I haven't been posting regularly.  Beginning today I hope to rectify this and resume at least weekly postings.  There is still much to write about as I continue to walk on the water with Jesus.

It's A Wonderful Life!

As I looked at my life these past few months I began to feel a kinship to George Bailey in the holiday movie classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

 From his youth up, George lived a life of helping others.  As a young man he gave up his long anticipated dreams of traveling and attending college after his father unexpectedly died.  Instead he sent his brother to college, and took over his father’s business to ensure that honest hardworking families could realize their dreams of owning a decent place to live and raise their children.  He even gave up his honeymoon money to protect the interest of those families who would have been taken advantage of by the hateful and wealthy Mr. Potter during the town’s financial crisis.  When George’s blundering uncle unknowingly gives the company’s deposit monies to Mr. Potter, Potter, in an attempt to destroy George, keeps the money and takes out a warrant for his arrest accusing him of embezzling company funds.  It is at this point that George contemplates suicide and later wishes he had never been born believing that everyone would have been better off if he’d never existed.

With the help of his guardian angel, George discovers that his life really did make a difference.  Had he not been born, Bedford Falls would have become Potter’s Field.  His brother would have died as a child and an entire transport of soldiers would have died because his brother would not have been there to save them.  Uncle Billy would have been in an insane asylum; his mother would have become a bitter old widow; the druggist would have gone to prison for accidental poisoning of a patient; and the honest hardworking families would have been subjected to living in Potter’s slum houses.  George also learned that the people he helped didn’t take him for granted.  They and even his old rival classmate and his brother came to his rescue when they heard he was in trouble.

My personal version of Mr. Potter had for a moment blinded me to the truth that God had used me to make a difference in the lives of those He sent me to serve.  The very people I was sent to serve showed their love and appreciation for me through acts of service, gifts, dinner, and well wishes.  Many of them didn’t even know I was in crisis.  I will probably never make the Forbes 500 list but because of friendships formed by the Spirit of God I am one of the richest women in the world.

CHRISTMAS EVE 2012

Its Christmas Eve.  I haven't posted in a long time, even now I struggle at what to write.  The latter half of this year has been very stressful for me, yet God has brought me through. 

Aside from personal crisis, I lost two friends to cancer.  One of those friends was a young woman from work, and the other was a dear friend that I served in ministry with.

Geneva Smith-Anderson and I met in the summer of 91 through an outreach jail & prison ministry we were apart of.  In the following years our ministry expanded from conducting worship services in the County Jail to conducting worship services at the Women's Correctional facility in Kankakee. We also did a weekly radio broadcast.  In 2000 she continued to minister to the incarcerated  as I transitioned to providing aftercare ministry to those who received Christ through her ministry.

After she and her husband moved to Indiana to pastor a young congregation, we continued to stay in touch through phone calls, emails, and visits.

She was the god-mother to all of my grandchildren.  Several hours after Geneva went home to be with Jesus, my youngest daughter (whom Geneva stood with me in prayer for a safe and healthy pregnancy) gave birth (at 36 weeks) to a 6 lb 4 oz baby boy.

Although I miss her, I celebrate her, a life well lived for the Lord; and rejoice that she is in His presence.

Favorite phrases and scriptures of Geneva:

"To God be the Glory!"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."

"God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!"

STILL HERE!

It's been a while since I've posted here----life has been very busy.  I continue to grow in my job as a Case Manager for infants and their mothers.  Their stories at times are so overwhelming, I'm mentally drained when I get home from work.  But I love what I do and seek God's direction in caring out my job responsibilities in a manner that pleases and honors Him.

PASSING the (Family) BATON

My Siblings & I - 2009

Yesterday my family got together to celebrate our sister's only son as he prepares to enter the Navy next month.  We had a wonderful time getting reacquainted with each other's children and grandchildren.  Some we haven't seen since they were babies, and meeting great nieces and nephews for the first time.

My brothers have taken over the cooking for our family gatherings.  When we were kids it was the women who prepared all the meals (on occasion my father would grill ribs, corn on the cob and hot dogs).  Today, the men take great pride in their grilling (and deep frying) of a variety foods.  They even make the side dishes!  The only thing they allow the women to do is make the deserts.

While enjoying the meal my sister-in-law and I reminisced about events, tragedies and triumphs of our families; and how we missed the passing of grandparents, parents and other family leaders.  Becoming silent in our thoughts my eyes began to fill with tears.  I looked at my sister-in-law and said, "We're now the patriarchs and matriarchs of our family."  On my mother's side the remaining patriarch is her brother battling cancer for the second time and not doing too well, and her sister is still alive.  On my father's side all of the grandparents, uncles and aunts are deceased.  The oldest female would be my cousin, if she's still alive (we've lost contact with her and her children).  If not, that makes me the Matriarch and my eldest brother the Patriarch of our family.

It seems we're so much younger than our parents and grandparents were when they stepped into the role of Patriarch and Matriarch of the family.  What will we leave behind to those under us when we pass from this life?  My hope is that we will leave a legacy of faith in the Living Christ who has always been our source of strength to triumph over every obstacle, crisis, disappointment, hardship and failure. 
TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER, AMEN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!

Today, April 25, my mother would have been 77 years old. She died on Mother’s Day, May 14, 2006 at 11:30pm.

I never realized how much my life mirrored my mother’s life until recently. As teens and young adults we see the many faults of our parents and vow never to make the mistakes they made. And many times without realizing it (perhaps because we judged without understanding, mercy and grace) we find ourselves walking in their shoes; in both good and bad choices.

Besides repeating some of mom’s mistakes, I’ve also followed her in the good things she accomplished in life. She was an avid learner and teacher of the Word of God; I share her passionate devotion to God and His Word. At my age my mother wrote religious articles for a community newspaper (Bulletin-Chicago, IL). Today I write Christian articles for a south suburban community newspaper (The Shopper-South Holland, IL).
We both served (and I continue to serve) as ministers in our local church, and we’ve written teaching materials and booklets to edify and encourage the Body of Christ.

I thank God for my mother and the imprint she made in my life for the Kingdom of God.

VICTORY!

Struggles and hardships on every hand,
My soul in anguish, how can I stand?

Bruised and parched, on this side of the mountain,
O LORD be thou my rejuvenating fountain.

A song of Zion comes to mind,
I sing Praises to the LORD Divine.

"I am with you always"
I hear the Holy Spirit say.

"Your victory is guaranteed,
I'm your Faithful Helper indeed."

GOD'S MOBILE CHURCH

Tired, exhausted and weary from yesterday's events, I slowly got out of bed wishing I didn't have to work a 9 to 5 job. What I'd really like is to be able to work from the church; building, equipping, and encouraging the Body of Christ and reaching out to those who don't yet know the Lord. Dragging myself to the shower I could hear the Holy Spirit say, "You are the church! And you work from the church every day!"

As I showered and dressed, scriptures began to run through my mind. I thought about the Tabernacle in the wilderness under Moses. It was a mobile "church." God dwelled in the midst of it and it moved when God moved. Another scripture came to mind: "Know ye not that your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit (of God)?" and "You are lively stones, a spiritual house, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ."

Since the coming of the Holy Spirit on the Day of Pentecost indwelling believers; Christians became the "church" or Tabernacle of God. I laughed at myself in the mirror as I thought about this Illuminating Truth from the LORD. "I am the church, a mobile church in the wilderness (world)in which the Holy Spirit of God leads, directs, and touches others through me."

When I service my clients, I'm doing more than just my job; I'm expressing God's love for them in the way I treat them, with respect; and when I put myself in their shoes to assist them in obtaining needed help. Some have asked me if I believed in God and if I do would I pray for them, or answer their questions about the Bible or what they've been told about God. I also minister to co-workers. I encourage them, pray with them, and answer their questions about faith in God, my faith, and how I manage to go on when things look so bleak. Some of my co-workers have followed me to worship services at my church; another came to the realization that she wasn't a Christian as she had thought, and gave her life to Christ. As a mobile church with a 9 to 5 job (actually I work from 8:30am to 5:15pm) I have access to people that stationary pastors don't.

How about you? Are you a Mobile Church with a 9 to 5 job? Glorify God in His Temple and allow Him to touch those you come in contact with through you.

God, Abraham & Me

One way we recognize God's presence is with us is when we find ourselves walking in the shoes of those who've gone before us; and in the heroes of faith we read about in the scriptures.

When the thought came to me to leave the church my mother brought me up in and go to a place that would be showed to me, I assumed I had been studying too much. "Okay Anna, pull yourself together," I said to myself. "That command was to Abraham to leave his father's house, a place of idolatry. Your mother's church is not a place of idolatry; it's a place where God's Word is taught and He is worshiped. You're active in several areas of ministry, surely God isn't telling you to pack up and leave."

On Sunday afternoon following service, one of the church mothers approached me. She said, "Baby, God has a great work for you to do but you've got to leave this place and go where you can be trained."
Where would I go? Is God really telling me to leave? How will I know when I'm at the place where He wants me to be?

After several weeks of pondering and prayer I packed up and began my journey of faith. Since Abraham went south, I traveled south listening, looking and trusting God to lead me to the place He wanted me to go. In the process of my travels I've learned to discern God's direction, experience His heart for people, to see and love others as He does, and be a part of His plan in meeting needs and leading others to faith in Him. I have also felt God's heart for me through personal crisis-----breast cancer, family conflicts, long term unemployment, failures, sin, and the need for His forgiveness.

It is in my current tour that I came to realize the place God was leading me to. It is the same place He led Abraham to; a place of relationship with Him. Jesus has made it possible (through His death, for our sins, and His resurrection) for each of us to experience a personal relationship with God. What must one do to experience this connection with the Almighty? A-admit your need for a Savior; B-believe that Jesus is the Savior, and C-commit yourself to God asking Him to be the leader of your life.

GOD WITH US

Sometimes the only way we know God is with us is when we find ourselves walking in the shoes of those who’ve gone before us.
When my daughter announced she and the kids were moving to New York to be with her estranged husband, I was devastated. The harder I tried to dissuade her, the more determine she was to go. So with tears in my eyes, I kissed my grandchildren good-bye, and made my daughter promise me that if things didn’t turn out right, she’d call me, and her uncle and I would come and get them.
I spent this past week vacationing with my daughter and grandchildren. While there, I got up early one morning and went outdoors to pray. As I sat in the backyard surrounded by towering trees, the melodious sounds of blue jays and cardinals, and a lone squirrel jumping from one tree to another; I was reminded of a time long ago when my children were young, I had packed up and moved to Louisiana to be with my husband. My mother had tried to dissuade me, but I too had been determined to go. My brother had made me promise that if things didn’t go right, call him, and he’d come and get us.
Just as God was with me and my children, I began to see Him with my daughter and her children. Two days after arriving in New York, she found a place to live. The schools my grandchildren attend far exceed the educational opportunities they had in Chicago; and they are being exposed to different cultures and peoples living together in community. My daughter is learning to trust God for herself, and to lean on Him in crisis instead of leaning on me.
The Bible speaks of a son, Isaac, who walked in his father’s (Abraham) footsteps and discovered that the same God who was with his father, is now with him. He had traveled to the same place, propagated the same lie, experienced God’s forgiveness, friendship, divine protection, guidance, and material blessings (Genesis 20:1-17; 26:1-11).
Whose shoes have you found yourself walking in? Could it be that God is reaching out to you, to initiate friendship with you?