THANKFUL

The thing I’m most thankful to God for on this Thanksgiving Day is to be alive.

God has granted me an unbelievable overcoming life. In every situation; crisis, hardship, illness, etc., God has brought me through with my sanity in tack and my limbs in working order.

VACATION END

I spent today, the last day of my vacation, at Rainbow Beach. In fact that’s where I’m writing this entry.

The water is so beautiful. At the furthest point it’s a stunning deep blue. The middle is green and the part closest to the shore is a mixture of blue, olive green and gray with white foam riding atop the gentle waves rolling up along the shore.

There’s a nice cool breeze blowing---scattered walkers, middle age mostly, and sea gulls perch on the shore’s edge. The sky is a heavenly blue dissolving into a pastel blue afar out on the horizon. The sand, light tan in color, is glistening in the sunlight. The sound of the waves is so relaxing and peaceful to watch. What a beautiful world God created for us to enjoy and care for.

When my children were young, I’d put the two youngest ones in the stroller and the two older ones on either side of me holding on to the side of the stroller and we would walk over to Rainbow Beach That was in the 70’s. I and my husband enjoyed living on the southeast side of Chicago. Being near the lake was always a big plus for us and the kids.

My son in his many travels across the country and overseas says he has never seen a skyline as beautiful as Chicago’s skyline.

OOPS!

In the words of the Psalmist, "my foot almost slipped when I looked at the prosperity of the wicked." Psalm 73:1-3

I almost slipped when I allowed the world to briefly squeeze me into its mode of thinking. For a moment I had forgotten how blessed I was when I looked at my salary, my lifestyle, and my vocation as a preschool teacher.

Because I live frugally, I felt I should have tangible assets, and a retirement savings. My salary, before taxes, is nice; but since I’m single without dependents, after taxes I’m on the border line of poverty. I love my job, but it’s a low income profession without health insurance or benefits. I live from paycheck to paycheck.

I thought about my second gift, writing. I’ve been published in other people’s works, websites, ezines, and Christian publications with little or no compensation. Am I allowing myself to be taken advantage of?

Should I abandon my dreams of making a difference in the children I work with; and in sharing the gospel through writing? Should I take a second job? If I do, I’ll be too tired to give my best to my students, too burned out to pursue Christ through writing, and no time to attend church.

As frustration started to set in I turned to Philippians 4. As I read the words Apostle Paul wrote from his jail cell, peace began to replace my anxiety as I began to focus on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtue, and praise.

JESUS! He’s true to His Word; honest, just, pure and lovely in His care of me! When I look at my life through Jesus there is always a good report to give of what He is doing in my life. When I dwell in His power and open my mouth in praise unto Him I find myself enjoying life and accomplishing great things through His strength regardless of my circumstance.

After all, He is my Good Shepherd, the manger and caretaker of my whole life. Peace that eludes the world is mine when I remember that I am a child of the Living God.

"I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU"

Whenever I feel uncertain about the course my life is taking, or feel that God is absence from directing my steps; I’ll open my journal and began reading entries from the previous year.

Recently I was feeling as such, so I opened my journal and began reading last year’s entries beginning at January 2006. On March 18, 2006, I wrote about a dream I had in which my momma asked me to write what I wanted her to read at my funeral. I didn’t even remember writing this. But as I read it the dream replayed in my mind. Two months later my mom died and I wrote her obituary.

Although I had misunderstood the dream, God had gently showed me what was to come to pass. He proved to me once again that He is always by my side; even when I can’t feel Him or discern His presence, He is right here, leading, guiding and preparing.

MY EARNEST PRAYER

My biggest concern for myself is that I don’t fall away from the Lord. Periodically I examine myself to see if I’m still walking and living by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The United States is moving so far away from the Biblical Principles that made it great and strong; it’s frightening. I don’t want to be caught up in the group of people who claim to be godly but deny the power of God’s Word and His Precepts.

Ancient Israel thought they could live like the world around them and enter the temple on the Sabbath and offer God token obeisance and God would continue to bless and keep them as a strong and powerful nation. How wrong they were. God doesn’t need our worship of Him. He’s not insecure, He knows who He is! Worship is for us; to remind us of who He is, and what our purpose is in Him. God longs to have a relationship with His people, not a song and dance show given in an attempt to appease Him.

Dear Lord, keep me near your bosom. Please continue to indwell my heart and spirit. I want to experience your presence in every area of my life. I thank you Lord Jesus for every miracle and every answered prayer. I even thank you for prayers unanswered because as your sheep, I am content to have everything you want me to have, and will receive in your timing things not yet received that you have for me.
I also thank you for turning the heart of my eldest daughter back to you. Keep her strong from the drug abuse of her husband. Keep her children (my grandchildren) safe in your arms. Continue to minister your Word and your presence to all of my children, grandchildren, and children in law, siblings and their families, and all my relatives.

I love you Lord, Amen

THE HIGHEST CALL

I used to think that the highest call a woman could have was to be a wife and mother. My role model (and goal) of a perfect wife was the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31.

After 24 years of applying the principles of Proverbs 31 my marriage didn’t produce children calling me blessed and my husband lifting his voice in praise of his wife; instead it was filled with repeated acts of infidelity and finally, divorce. For a long time I was angry, confused and hurt that the scriptures didn’t work for me.

Ten years later, on this past Mother’s Day I received a card from one of my daughters with the following quote:

"Let her works bring her praise." Proverbs 31:31

My son lifted his voice in praise before his fiancé of the discipline and instruction he received from me as a child.

My youngest daughter praised me before her employers and co-workers as a mother that made their clothes, fixed special meals, looked after the neighborhood kids, and spent time doing arts and crafts and other family activities with her and her siblings.

My nephew called from the county jail to tell me that he loved me, and thanked me for taking in him and his brother when their mother had abandon them. He went on to thank me for teaching him godly morals, disciplining him and feeding him well; and that him being incarcerated wasn’t because I failed in caring for him, it was because of his wrong choices.

My eldest daughter called to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and to say that she loved me.

And alas, my ex-husband expressed he didn’t know how blessed he was in having me as a wife until after he divorced me.

The Word of God is true. When it is lived and expressed through the life of the believer it does not come back void (Isaiah 55:11).

Today, I know without a doubt, that the highest call a woman can have is to be A CHILD OF THE LIVING GOD.

A MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATION

On Mother’s Day 2006 my mother passed from this life into eternity with the Lord. I remember the night I got the call.

"Ann, Momma’s in the hospital, you need to start praying," my youngest sister said. As I began to intercede for my mother a peace filled my bedroom where I was praying. This peace that I felt was both internal and external. It was a presence of peace all around me; hugging and holding me. So comforting and serene was the presence in my room that I laid down and went to sleep.

When the phone rang an hour later, I was told momma had died. "That’s impossible," I said to myself, "how could Momma be dead when I’m experiencing so much peace?"

It still doesn’t seem like she’s gone until I reach for the phone to share with her an experience, or ask a question about something and I realize I can’t call her.

I thought this day would be painfully unbearable, but it’s not. Mother’s Day is a day of celebration and rejoicing. I can’t think of a better day than Mother’s Day for a godly mother to receive the ultimate gift of fulfillment; entrance into the eternal presence of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

I'M STILL HERE!

It is often said that women don’t like to reveal their age as they get older. But for me, each year is a cause for celebration. Twelve years ago, two months before my 40th birthday, my doctor told me he couldn’t promise I’d live to see it because of cancer and the damage chemotherapy did to my heart.

But Jesus, the Lord God Omnipotent, granted me mercy and allowed me to see my 40th birthday and beyond. On April 19 I celebrated my 52nd Birthday. Each day of each year I am ever grateful for the grace of God manifested in my life.

O how I pray that my life become more and more each day a song of Praise, Glory and Honor unto the Lord; a sweet smelling fragrance unto Him.

Thank You JESUS for life and Life Eternal.

A RESURRECTION DAY THOUGHT

Every year during Good Friday Services, the seven last sayings of Christ from the cross are always expounded on. And every year, whoever speaks on the forth saying, "My God, my God why hast thou forsaken me?" explains Jesus’ statement as being in response to God turning His face from Him because a holy God can’t look on sin.

As I sat in this year’s Good Friday Service I heard something different as the speaker spoke on the forth saying of Christ.

Since Jesus is God manifested in humanity, I believe "my God, my God why hast thou forsaken me" was spoken for our benefit to let us know that God had met His own requirement for the payment of our sins when He hung and died on the cross. It isn’t impossible for God to look on sin; He sees our sin everyday. From Adam and Eve’s rebellion, to their son’s act of murder and down through the ages God has looked on man’s sins. This is why He came to offer Himself in our place to redeem us from our sins. It isn’t that God can’t look on sin; it is sin that separates us from relationship with God.

"My God, my God why hast thou forsaken me?" speaks of His internal agony on the cross as He bore not only our sins but the sins of the entire world; past, present and future. He became our filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). All of our perverseness, wickedness, rebellion and iniquity fell on him (Isaiah 53:5). He became dirty and unclean with our sins. So agonizing was this experience for a holy and sinless God that the weight of our sins was more torturous than the nails that pierced His hands and feet; more excruciating than the spear that pierced His side. I believe His divinity was in intense conflict with His humanity when He became sin for us. That’s why He utters those words.

In grasping this truth, I begin to search myself, looking for signs that I too shared in Christ’s suffering to rid my life of sin. For the proof that we are partakers of His divine nature is seen in our own internal conflict between the indwelling spirit of God and our old sinful nature. There should be in each of us a groaning and painful longing for our bodies to be translated from its present condition (Romans 8:21-23).

II Corinthians 13:5 instructs us to examine (scrutinize) ourselves to make sure that Christ is being formed in us. I want to know (by experience) that the resurrection power of Christ is at work in me (Philippians 3:10).

A REWARDING DAY

Yesterday was a very rewarding day for me as a Christian mom. My son called me at 7:00am. He didn’t call to complain or talk about his problems. He called to talk about his faith in JESUS!

He summed up his excitement in knowing Jesus by saying, “Mom, I’m glad God put you in my life because if it weren’t for your teaching me about Jesus I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. I know that I’m blessed because of your faith in God for me.”

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY HERO

My uncle (my mother’s brother) died Wednesday, February 7th; eight months after my mom’s death.

My childhood memory of him is that of a super hero. Uncle Luke was a mild mannered Clark Kent kind of guy. He was pleasant, easy going, not easily shaken by life’s periodic storms. He even wore black horn rimmed glasses like Clark Kent.

I never associated him with Clark Kent until I witness the Superman side of him. My parents had gotten into an argument and my father had become violent and physically abusive to my mother. When Uncle Luke walked through the door, he immediately jumped between my mom and dad, and with a powerful voice of authority restored order to a violent situation. No one ever stood up to my dad like Uncle Luke.

He will truly be missed.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Saturday evening (12-30-06) I sat contemplating what changes would occur in the New Year.  I grabbed my journal and read over its pages of the current year, looking for growth and areas in my life I would need to change.

I thought about my eldest daughter and her husband’s drug abuse, and my grandchildren caught in the middle of their mess.  Depression began to overwhelm me as financial concerns and job conflicts joined the despairing party in my mind.

It was in that moment that I cried out, “Lord, I need a word from you that will bring peace and hope to my troubled spirit.”
As I leaned back in my chair trying to find a comfortable position, the following words came to my mind.

“I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA, THE FIRST AND THE LAST, THE BEGINNING AND THE ENDING.  BESIDES ME, THERE IS NO OTHER!”

I sat up straight and began to meditate on the above scriptures.  Peace returned as I realized that the creator of the universe was still in charge!  There is nothing I encounter in life that He is not able to carry me through.

Not only will He hear my prayers for my daughter and grandchildren, He already has!  My grandchildren’s school has begun monitoring my daughter’s care of the children; family members are no longer giving her and her husband money, but are purchasing whatever it is they say they need the money for; and drugs are no longer being used in the house.

Whichever way my finances go, up, down or remain the same, God will provide for and take care of me.  He is before me and behind me; there is no way I can fall from His care.